Memories

While most of my blog posts focus on leadership and learning, this one will be more personal. Today marks four years since I lost my mother to Melanoma. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. My mom was my best friend and a great mother. She loved music, laughing and singing every day. We spoke on the phone almost every day too.

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Mom & I in early 2000’s

My mom was not a fan of Social Media- she made us promise not to write about her passing on Facebook. We followed her orders and grieved in real life, face-to-face with our friends and family. I hope, four years later, she forgives my need to reflect on this social platform, for my own #mindfulness and peace of mind.

I notice more and more bloggers sharing personal memories publicly. Just last month, the wife of a high school friend wrote about missing her mom, who she also lost to Melanoma. I learned a lot of things from my mom when she was here with us. In fact, for her 60th birthday, my brother and I created a list of 60 life lessons we learned from Nan! But I’m going to share some things I’ve learned since she left us.

Mom & I in 1978

Mom & I in 1978

  • Time is precious. Tell your friends and family you care about them whenever you can, because you never know when that opportunity will be taken from you.
  • Memories live on. I may not have my mom here, to wrap her arms around me and tell me she loves me. But I am surrounded by memories of times she did just that, and times we spent together, happy and enjoying life. Nothing can take those memories from me.
  • Time does help. You hear that phrase a lot, but you don’t realize it until you’ve come through the other side of an overwhelming, tremendous loss.
  • The ocean heals. My mom never regretted a moment she spent with her feet in the sand, her face raised up to the sun, watching the ocean ebb and flow. When I miss my mom more than usual, I will often visit the ocean to feel closer to her.
  • It’s okay to be sad. Every year around this time, I feel a little sadder, I miss my mom a little deeper. And that is okay. This year was the first year I planned for the inevitable waves of sadness, instead of letting them sneak up on me. I reread a book that my mom and I loved, that is bittersweet in its beauty and sadness- Eternal on the Water by Joseph Monninger. Reading this book, that we once read together, not only reminds me of my mom, but it helps remind me of the beauty and power of nature, of love, and of literature.
  • Those you love are never gone. Whenever I see a heron or an egret, I know my mom in nearby.

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Thank you for allowing me to share these personal memories here.

 

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Please call me Dr.

I began my doctoral journey over 900 days ago.

The countdown clock to my graduation!

The countdown clock to my graduation!

Yesterday I successfully defended my dissertation. While it hasn’t fully sank in yet, I can honestly say I am proud of all of the hard work I put into the entire process. I am honored to be called Dr. Illingworth and cannot wait for the final graduation ceremony to culminate this journey. Thank you to all of you reading who supported me throughout the process!

 Congratulations to @AmyLIllingworth for her successful defense today. You may now refer to her as Dr. Illingworth! pic.twitter.com/1tuy4EuK2o

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March Mindfulness

2015 is the year of mindfulness for me. This is my one little word, my focus, my hope and wish, and my practice.

A few times this month I used the hashtag #mindfulness when posting pictures. It served as both a reminder and a hope- that I can and would stop and live in the present when possible. Sipping tea on my balcony under the moonlight, pausing to notice a uniquely shaped tree outside of a conference, or taking time to stare at the ocean, listening to the waves and watching the sun glimmering over the water.

ocean view

 

Funky tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

One week’s focus at Weight Watchers this past month was about mindful eating. My brother and I enjoyed a nice dinner on the balcony, focused on the flavors and our meal together. Mindful eating is another practice that takes time and effort… and practice! I’m still working on that, along with the rest of my mindfulness practice.

Writing about my face-to-face meetings, in reflecting on the here and now, was one of my most productive, mindful activities this month. I hope to find more ways to stop and be grateful in April.

 

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Does your image match your beliefs?

Every once in awhile I like to make a word cloud of my blog. I posted two in January. The word cloud below was a summary of my entire blog.

Blog word cloud 2014

Below is today’s creation.

March mindfulness word cloud

This is a quick summary of the most commonly used words on my blog. I love that since January, I can see mindfulness show up as a significant addition. Words like reflection, reading, and learning continue to be areas of importance in my writing.

Similar to when I wrote about my most used emoticons, I like to use word clouds as a way to self-monitor- to check in that my blog posts are focused on the leadership and learning topics I find most important and valuable. I use blogging as a reflection tool. If what I’m writing about does not match my beliefs, there is a significant disconnect. These check-ins help me see the connections between my writing and my beliefs in summary form.

  • What would your word cloud say about you?
  • Would your blog (or website or site plan)’s word cloud match your beliefs? 
  • What are you most used emoticons lately? 

 

 

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Reflecting on the Here and Now

Hi blog! Hi readers! It feels like it’s been forever since I was here. In the last few weeks, I have not felt very mindful about anything other than my stress levels. But after an emotional week, I unwittingly did the best thing possible for myself. I booked my entire schedule today with back-to-back, individual meetings with all of the members of my department. This could have been a stressful day, as I had little free time all day as the door opened and closed to let in the next person every half hour. But it was exactly the day I needed.

From the White House: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ABarack_Obama_looking_through_the_Oval_Office_door_peephole.jpg

From the White House

This was a day full of one-on-one conversations about people’s strengths and goals for future growth. It was about leadership and learning and communication. It was about celebrations of big and small successes. It was a great day!

Sometimes we need these reminders:

  • Face-to-face meetings with individuals are important.
  • Closing the laptop and taking time to talk is valuable.
  • Many people struggle to name their own strengths, or to celebrate their own successes.
  • People appreciate being heard.

When we spend so much time working hard in the day-to-day tasks, we forget to take time to reflect on the big ideas. Building in time for reflection creates a powerful habit. I am grateful that my schedule today gave me exactly what I didn’t know I desperately needed, as a leader, a learner, and a colleague.

  • How does your schedule support your needs as a leader or learner?
  • What habits are you working to develop?
  • If asked, what would you say your strengths are?
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Things I’m Loving Friday, Volume 13

I love to highlight the friends, apps, tools, books, and habits that help me as a leader, a learner, and someone trying to be more balanced and mindful. For this week’s volume, I decided to do a round-up of the apps and resources that best help me stay organized and focused, especially in my job.

  • Evernote – There is a not a day that goes by that I don’t open up Evernote on one of my many devices at home or at work. Not only do I record all classroom visits I make in Evernote files, but I keep a reflective journal, personal notes, blog ideas, and everything else imaginable here.

Evernote

  • Pocket – After my first post about all the blogs I had Flagged for Follow Up, I wrote a second post in which I declared that I was trying Pocket as my new online resource holder. That was 8 months ago and I can now confirm that Pocket is a useful tool. Whenever I am reading a blog, article, or other online resource, if I think I might want to share it or refer to it later, I add it to Pocket. Over the last few months, I’ve gotten better about tagging my saves with more purposeful tags, to be able to find them easily for future use. I create a weekly update to some staff members that includes many resources, and I often go back to Pocket to find relevant items to share.
Not this kind of pocket! (CCC licensed work on Shutterstock by Wild marshmallow flower)

Not this kind of pocket! (CCC licensed work on Shutterstock by Wild marshmallow flower)

  • Inbox & Calendar – I continue to use a specific system to keep my inbox and calendar organized. At least once a week, I look ahead to future weeks to see what upcoming meetings or projects I need to prepare for. From there, I fill in open spaces on my calendar with time to complete the work necessary for said meetings. I will also draft messages to be sent later, such as reminders about my future site visits or follow-up notes about items due to me. Whenever I read an email, I take immediate action. I either: a) reply and then file or delete the message; b) flag the message for later research and response; c) file the message in an email folder since it was just an FYI to me; d) delete if I do not need to do anything. My flagged messages, to-do items, and calendar notes are color-coded to help me stay focused on various projects or timelines. All of this helps me feel focused, organized, able to response promptly to others, and to meet my deadlines.
  • Google – I wrote about my love of Google Drive in Volume 6 of my Things I’m Loving Friday.  I am still a Google fan, enjoying the use of Google docs to help teams communicate, google drive to share common work with teams of teachers or students, forms to create and maintain survey data, and everything else I discover!
  • Feedly/ RSS Feeds – I am a notoriously fast reader, which means I always want more books, articles, and blogs available to read when I have the chance. I use both Feedly and RSS Feeds to maintain a long list of blogs I enjoy reading (not only about education-related topics, but also about health, wellness, and life in general!). What I love about these tools is the fact that I can open them up whenever I have a free moment, and read just one blog, or read all day (HA!  I wish!). I have my Feedly linked to Pocket, so if I want to save a blog (with a good recipe or good instructional strategy), I can send it straight to Pocket with the appropriate tag.
CCC licensed work from workmark.com

CCC licensed work from workmark.com

 

What helps you stay organized?  

What are you loving lately?

 

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What else have you read?

This is my second Read 15 in 15 update! You can see the first update here. In addition to reading some real books recently, I spent a lot of time listening to podcasts and audio books. I was late to join the Serial Podcast bandwagon, but I was hooked from the first episode to the last! If you haven’t listened to Serial yet, I strongly recommend it!

Here are the books I’ve finished recently:

  • The History of Us by Leah Stewart – I started this book because I enjoyed The Myth of You and Me by the same author. This one wasn’t as great as I remember the first novel being, but I enjoyed the unique, quirky characters, all of which were so flawed they felt more human than some of the humans I see posting semi-real topics on Facebook!
  • A Mango- Shaped Space by Wendy Mass – I LOVED this YA novel! I began it the same time my friend introduced it as one of her students’ Book Club choices in her classroom. This is a sweet story about an uncommon disorder and one girl’s journey to appreciate her own special gifts.
  • The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo – I love every YA book written by this author and Edward Tulane was no exception! While I was on a site visit last week I saw a 4th grade class excitedly discussing this novel. A few days later I found it available on my new favorite app, Oyster. The next day my teacher friend told me she had just started the book. We each read it over one Saturday and then discussed it at length the next day. I love impromptu book clubs!
  • The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins- I started this after hearing lots of positive buzz about it, and many comparisons to Gone Girl, which I LOVED! I listened to the audio version of this book and was, at first, thrown off by the British accents (and I didn’t like the voice of one of the readers, which was annoying). The story is told from three different women’s perspectives, and it was a good mystery. What I found most fascinating was that I disliked ALL of the characters equally. They were each unlikable people with poor character. Yet I enjoyed reading and was happy with the unexpected twists.
ccc licensed work on flickr

ccc licensed work on flickr

Each time I read and love a YA book, I am reminded of how easy and quick they are to read! I miss my days as a teacher when I kept a running list of the books I read on my classroom door. A teacher who reads can get any student excited about reading something. I wish that all teachers thought of themselves as readers and writers!

  • What have you been reading lately?
  • Have you #Read15in15 yet?
  • Any good recommendations?

 

 

 

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Learning Walk

Today I had the opportunity to participate in a Learning Walk, or a version of Instructional Rounds, with my aspiring administrator students and inspiring colleagues. I’ve participated in Instructional Rounds  in my previous roles as a coach, a principal, and as a district facilitator, and in my current role as a facilitator with coaches and as a district guest observing the process led by school leaders.

The day began with all of us (approximately 40 lead learners) gathered in a school’s library. The principal of the school, who had willingly offered up her school for use for this Learning Walk, greeted us with information about the school. We heard about culture, expectations, traditions, and so much excitement for teaching and learning.

CCC licensed work

CCC licensed work

We then broke up into two groups to follow a schedule of classroom visitations. Each of our large groups stayed in a classroom for anywhere from 12-20 minutes, observing what students were saying and doing, as well as the instructional moves the teacher was making. Upon leaving each classroom, we would debrief our noticings and wonderings. We tried to frame our conversation around the school’s learning cycle focus as our problem of practice.

Similar to my work with instructional coaches, we had to continue to reframe our conversations to avoid statements of judgement, and to focus on observational data and reflective questions to consider. This is a challenging skill for many leaders, and one that is important, as it fostering a more collaborative relationship and mutual respect. I will continue to work on my own questioning skills, as well as skills of those with whom I work.

As we continued to visit more classrooms, we began to ask the group to reflect on patterns and trends we were observing. When possible, we made connections to Common Core State Standards, as well as the integration of reading, writing, speaking and listening across content and classrooms. For some of our aspiring leaders, this was one of the first opportunities they have had to observe another teacher’s classroom. For our secondary practitioners, it was quite eye-opening to visit Kinder-fifth grade classrooms. To see 3rd grade students participate in a successful, student-centered Socratic Seminar was powerful!

I find learning walks and instructional rounds to be powerful for a number of reasons.

  • Visiting classrooms together provides an opportunity for teams to develop shared language around common concepts.
  • Walking rooms with a particular problem of practice can help narrow our focus and lead to new strategies to support student learning.
  • Teachers often do not know or realize what their own best practices are. Great teachers do amazing things- sometimes these strategies are done seamlessly, unconsciously, or without forethought on the part of the teacher. This process helps label and name high quality teaching strategies that promote high levels of student learning.
  • Similar to lesson study, a team of teachers can plan a lesson together and the application of that lesson can look completely different across the team. Visiting rooms allows for more common language, strategies, and routines.
  • Celebrate the power of a team! There are great teachers in every school. Learning walks can help celebrate the amazing work happening within a school and can let others know that you do not always have to look to outside experts to make systematic changes.

I would like for all teachers and leaders to have the opportunity to participate in Learning Walks. How have you facilitated this process with your teams?

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The Doctoral Journey Round-Up

As I approach the end of my doctoral journey, I decided to round-up all of the posts I wrote throughout the process. The countdown clock to my graduation is now under 90 days- I remember when it was over 900!

countdown clock

Please humor me as I travel back in time to reflect on this journey, in a bulleted-list, because that is how my mind works!

  • October 2012: What I’m Reading These Days – This was the first time I shared some of what I was reading, and it was all about my class assignments!
  • December 2012- TEDxSan Diego Experience – I loved getting to experience a day full of TED talks live and in person. While rereading that post, I was shocked by the multiple mentions of collaboration– that has become my life blood lately and it’s a surprising remind that it stood out to me almost 3 years ago!
  • May 2013 – Finding Balance – Ironically, there was a long period between blog posts related to my doctoral studies. This post was my reflection on how to use time wisely without losing my mind!
  • June 2013- One Year Down, Two To Go – This is my reflection after the first full year of coursework in the doc program.
  • January 2014 – What I’m Reading (Volume 2)– My second post in this series referenced the books from my Cultural Proficiency class, which I truly enjoyed.
  • February 2014- Exhausted– One simple word that covers so much of this journey!
  • March 2014- What I’m Reading (Volume 3)- Another volume that included reading from my doc research.
  • March 2014- Social Justice Leadership – A reflection after I completed my Cultural Proficiency class, which was one of my absolute favorites of the entire program!
  • May 2014 – Two Years Down, One to Go – I remember feeling such relief when I was able to write about coming this far!
  • May 2014 – What I’m Reading (Volume 4) – One text from this post was related to my HR class (and it’s still funny to see it on this list!).
  • May 2014- When Worlds Collide– Thoughts on my HR and Finance courses
  • August 2014- Educational Hot Topics – This post was spurred by a guest speaker we had in class one day!
  • December 2014 – One Semester Left – I was so happy to have finished all my coursework and only have the final two chapters left to complete!

Wow! There were more posts about this journey than I expected! This was a pleasant surprise to me. Writing has always been a positive hobby, a place where I go to de-stress and reflect, so I’m glad to see I was able to use my blogging as a mental support during a long three-year process.

I am in the final data collection, analysis, and writing phases and this journey has never felt as impossible as it does right now. A friend and I commiserated together over the weekend, reflecting on how far we had come and how challenging this last phase is. It is nice to take the time to remember all of the hard work I have put into this degree, this program, this research, and my own education. I cannot wait for that graduation ceremony, when my chair hoods me and I finally earn the title of Doctor Illingworth.  😉

 UPDATED!

  • April 2015- On April 1 I successfully defended my dissertation and respectfully ask that you call me Dr. Illingworth!
  • April 2015 – I attended the UCEA Clark Seminar as a graduate scholar and shared my research reflections.
  • May 17, 2015- My doctoral graduation from San Diego State University
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Mindfulness Update #2

As February draws to a close, I am reflecting on where and how I have been mindful. February was not as easy as January in terms of my focus word of mindfulness.

January mindfulness word cloud

A word cloud from my January mindfulness update

This month ushered in some health problems and some dissertation stress that overwhelmed me. That negative cycle was hard to overcome. I had to work hard to remind myself to stay in the present, focus on the NOW, be mindful.

This article on How to Pay Attention really spoke to me, as I reminded myself to be mindful.

This article is a simple explanation of mindfulness and one writer’s fall into the practice.

A few articles about mindfulness in schools crossed my path recently. Isn’t it funny how once you start to pay attention, you see the same thing over and over again? For instance, whenever I buy a new car, I notice my car everywhere on the road for the first time.  This particular article has a great infographic about the research on mindfulness in education.

Some habits I tried to focus on this month included:

  • Writing in a gratitude journal at least once a week
  • Practicing a mindfulness exercise weekly (thanks to a great mindfulness gift from a friend!)
  • Reading- reading for pleasure and reading mindfulness articles and quotes to stay grounded
  • FaceTime with my nephews. It is nearly impossible to be anywhere except in the present moment when you are video chatting with two toddlers!

I hope to return to my evening walks with friends in March. Mindfulness truly is a practice that requires work. 

 

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