Reflections on Leadership and Learning

Today, July 14, my blog turns 14 years old! I try to take some time to reflect each July on why I blog, since this is the month when I began blogging (see 1st,  2nd,  3rd, 4th,  5th , 6th,  8th,  10th, and 12th birthday posts). My very first post was about learning, so I’d like to reflect on what I’ve learned lately.

• I love learning a new-to-me language, but trying to learn via an app and not real instruction or interaction is challenging. I spent over 140 days on Duolingo attempting to learn some Vietnamese before my two week vacation in Vietnam (which just happened in June). Before I left, I felt comfortable that I might recognize about 10 words, but I did not feel comfortable that I could say anything correctly or that I would understand anything if people spoke fast. I was able to say a hello greeting and thank you successfully (and even got a compliment on my accent from a tour guide), but that was it! Learning a new language takes more than an app, and a lot more time than I was willing to give.
• As I’ve continued to read and study the national conversation about technology concerns, especially in the hands of young children, I’ve learned a lot about purposeful screen time in schools and in our own personal lives. I’ve worked to find my own balance and avoid the doom scrolling on my phone. By intentionally stepping away more, I’ve learned that I benefit from some uninterrupted, quiet, boring thinking time. The more of that time I give myself, the more I find my creative thoughts returning to me.
• I love traveling and wish that everyone had the time and the means to travel to as many different places as possible, especially outside of our own country. I learn so much every time I travel somewhere new.
• I love reading for a number of reasons. I enjoy learning new things, I appreciate books that serve as windows for life experiences unlike my own, I love when a book can serve as a beautiful escape from the real world, and I love reading a fast-paced, heart-racing adventure that has me on the edge of my seat!
• Learning a new skill takes time and effort! Besides my mostly failed attempt to learn Vietnamese (see above), I have also been trying to lean into my newly-adopted middle age habit of bird watching. In theory it sounds easy and relaxing. But the true birders of the world spend time learning each bird species, how to recognize them by site and sound, and keeping track of the birds they have seen in the wild. At this point, I can recognize about 5 birds on my own, and I have an app I’m learning to use as I go. I have binoculars that I’m no good with yet and my patience isn’t great. I believe this will be more of a retirement habit!

Both “Learner” and “Input” have always been strengths of mine every time I’ve taken a StrengthsFinder assessment. My email signature reads, “Always learning”. Since I wrote my first educational philosophy statement in college, I have always considered myself a lifelong learner. I truly love learning and then writing as my form of reflecting. Thank you for following along on my blogging journey for all these years!

Knowing I will be on vacation from the end of June through the beginning of July, I am posting what I read in June before I left. What I read over vacation will be covered in July. This month I read:

• Once and Again by Rebecca Serle – After finishing this sweet magical realism book, I realized that I have read and enjoyed at least one other book by this author (Expiration Dates). She writes romcom style stories with heart and not necessarily with the traditional tropes and plot lines. In this book, we meet the women of the Novak family, who all have one special gift – the ability to turn back time just once in their lifetime. If you had this power, when would you use it? How would you know what the right time or decision or life event would be to use such power? With each generation, the women grapple with the weight of their own decision and if or when to tell their daughters, as it is passed down from one woman to the next. I loved getting to know each of the characters through their life choices, which we learned through alternating chapters narrating each of their lives.
• Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar [audiobook] – I heard about this book when Hudson Williams, the actor from my beloved show Heated Rivalry, posted about it. I was intrigued because this book was not something that I would ever pick up on my own, nor had it crossed my reading sphere. This served as a window into Iranian culture for me, as I learned about Cyrus and his family. Cyrus, a young man fresh out of college, is an orphan whose mother died tragically in Iran when the US shot down her plane and whose father died once he entered college, in America, where they had moved. Our main character Cyrus is quite flawed, from his addiction issues, his relationship issues, and his half-hearted work to become a writer, while fighting his own depression. When Cyrus hears about an Iranian woman who is holding an art installation about her own death in a NYC gallery, he knows he must travel to meet her. He spends three days visiting with the artist each day, discussing life, death, art and martyrdom, which he believes will be the topic of his own book. The writing was poetic and cultural and dark and enlightening. I enjoyed the experience of entering this culture and this world, very unlike my own.
• Holly by Stephen King – This was the first book in my Stephen King Summer book club and I’m so glad! I read the Mr. Mercedes trilogy this year, and the character of Holly was a major character in all of those, and I enjoyed her spunk! In this story, she is the main character, after her original partner passed away. This book took place during COVID, so there was a lot of mask and vaccination talk (pro and con), which was a sad reminder of a darker time. Holly is hired by the mother of a missing young woman. While she tries to figure out what happened to this young woman, she stumbles across other missing people and she tries to make connections between the missing people to figure out what happened to them. What she discovers is dark and creepy, which we witness throughout as we meet the killers. This was disturbing and fun and quite a wild ride!
• How to Be Okay When Nothing is Okay by Jenny Lawson [audiobook] – I have loved Jenny Lawson’s writing for years, ever since I discovered the story of the giant metal chicken, which still makes me laugh uncontrollably. This book is a more personal collection of essays about her neurodivergence, her mental illness, and the ways in which she has learned to cope and survive and even thrive. Lawson provides a variety of tips and tricks to support yourself during hard times. This book is a great resource for people who need support, especially during trying times related to mental illness.
• The Crush by Ren Browne – I found this author because of videos she made about Heated Rivalry. This is a sweet, age gap romance that takes place in Texas in the 1990’s. Isabel returns home to her small town and nice but controlling family after college to find that her long childhood crush, Daniel Rios, has returned from his time working for the DEA. When Daniel and Isabel crash into each other, he thinks it will be a quick fing with his much younger family friend. Soon, their hidden relationship changes and so do they. I loved the writing, the characters, and the cultural depth of this story.

This month I read:

• The Digital Delusion: How Classroom Technology Harms Ours Kids Learning– And How to Help Them Thrive Again by Jared Cooney Horvath – I read this book because of the national conversations about educational technology, and kids access to personal devices inside and outside of school. We are having these conversations locally as well, and it’s important to read all of the perspectives out there. This neuroscientist delves into his concerns about AI, cell phone use, reading on digital devices, and the educational technology business boom. There were data points shared with assumed correlations that make significant assumptions about what happens in classrooms, most of which does not happen in any elementary classroom I’ve been in. However, there is always more we can do to ensure we are being purposeful and intentional with tech use, whether for our students in classrooms, or ourselves and the endless doomscroll we all get sucked into at times.
• Say You’ll Remember Me by Abby Jimenez [audiobook] – I love a fun romance by Abby Jimenez, and this was cheesy and silly and goofy and delightful to read. Our characters meet cute takes place in a vet’s office when Dr. Xavier meets his new patient, Samantha and her rescue kitten. After a rocky start, they realize they have a connection and go on a fun and disasterous first date (Come On Eileen plays a role, which is hysterical!). Then, they attempt a long-distance get-to-know-you situationship because Samantha has to take care of her mother with dementia. This book was full of family, friendship, hard choices, and real life challenges, along with grade sweeping romantic delcarations and gestures.
• Told You So by Macyi Neeley [audiobook] – I know Macyi through the reality show Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, but I clearly didn’t know the reality of her life before reading this memoir. Mayci grew up in Southern California in a very wealthy family. She was a young tennis star, working on a college scholarship when she began to test to limits of Mormon culture as a teenager. She details all of her experimentation with friends, her early dating, and dedicates a significant amount of time descripbing two key relationships she had, one of which was full of abuse and manipulation. I didn’t know these details of her past, as her current life as a working mom, a businesswoman, and TikTok and reality star, is very different. While I didn’t think the writing was strong, I was interested to learn about her history and sad to read so many hard details. I enjoyed this as an audiobook.
• End of Watch by Stephen King – This was the end of a trilogy about the mercedes killer and the retired detective, Bill Hodges, who found and arrested him. In the final insallment, the killer, Brady, is in the hospital with such a severe head injury that he is not fit to stand trial for his crimes. Bill still finds connections back to Brady when mysterious deaths by suicide pop up around town, leading Bill back to his unfinished business with the sick and twisted killer. Bill’s friends, Holly and Jerome, play significant roles in this installment, and the action races to a dramatic closure. I loved this series; I enjoy King’s crime books as they are faster paced than his horror stories.
• Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez [audiobook] – I loved this sweet romcom! When Bri first meets Jacob, there is a lot of miscommunication and you think they will be enemies forever. But once things are cleared up, they quickly become friends, then penpals, then friends who are pretending to be more, and then the fun begins. This was a very slow burn romance with a lot of funny side characters and a LOT of miscommunication, but I loved the main characters and I was rooting for them throughout it all!
• Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser – This is my April book club book, and I would never have read it if it wasn’t chosen for me. This is a retelling of Cinderella, from the perspective of the wicked stepmother. Only in this story. Ethel is a mother of two and stepmother to one, after being twice widowed and saddled in debt, and she is doing whatever it takes to give her daughters a better life. While it was slow to start, I really enjoyed this story once it got going. Whatever you think you know about the Cinderalla story can feel completely different from a new perspective. The last third was so good I couldn’t wait to keep reading and find out how it would end.
• American Fantasy by Emma Straub – My brother got me an autographed copy of this book, when he heard that the book was about a 50 year old woman who loves a boy band from her youth. He knows me well! I swear, this book was based on the New Kids on the Block (NKOTB), who I have seen in concert 26 times, but never on their cruise. In this story, we meet Annie, who agrees to go on the Boy Talk cruise with her sister after her recent mid-life divorce. We also follow the 5 band members and one of the crew responsible for keeping them safe and on time. If you aren’t an avid fan of boy bands, or if you don’t want to know what rabid fandoms look like up close, this is not the book for you. For me, I pictured my beloved NKOTB members as I read the book, and all of the many wild, fun, and totally insane fans I’ve met in the 35+ years I’ve been following them.
• The Mountains Sing by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai [audiobook] – Knowing that I am travelling to Vietnam in June, I asked my book club for recommendations of books that take place in Vietnam. This beautifully written story was high on the list. We follow a family from the 1950’s through the 1970’s, as their family suffers many tragedies during the Land Reform and then the Vietnam War, which they called the American War. This is a hearbreaking tale of a desperate mother and her children, and the people they become.
• Em by Kim Thúy – This was a fascinating collection of interconnected short stories, based on real events around the Vietnam War. We followed soldiers, young women, orphans, babies adopted in America, young adults who return to Vietnam, and so many stories of how the Vietnam War impacted the lives of millions of people. The author, originally from Vietnam, based the stories on interviews and history and shares even more at the end of the book. I was proud to recognize a few Vietnamese words from my Duolingo studies!

I love quotes and I was inspired by this post by George Couros to gather some quotes to continue my 2026 with intentions to live my word of the year, EASE.

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~ Hal Borland

You won’t look back and remember the time you didn’t complete your to-do list, but you may look back and remember the beautiful life you lived. ~ Courtney Carver

Instead of focusing on how much you can accomplish, focus on how much you can absolutely love what you’re doing. ~ Leo Babauta

So in fact, narrowing down our choices means less overwhelm, and more creativity. ~ Courtney Carver

Being at ease with himself put him at ease with the world. ~ John Steinbeck

Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. ~ Bryant McGille

Some quotes you find about ease are derogatory, which feeds into that culture of busy and hustle that I’m trying to step away from this year. Many quotes imply that a life of ease is a lazy life or one not worth living. That is cultural message I am challenging for myself this year. My goal for the year when I chose the word ease was to bring presence, calm, gentleness, contentedness, and peace of mind into my life. As we near the halfway point of the year (how is this possible already?!), I think that I’ve done this well in some ways and I’ve struggled and had to remind myself of the goal many other times. But that is the joy of failure and the value of having a goal; EASE is always there for me when I’m ready for it.