Reflections on Leadership and Learning

In November I had a nice balance of different fiction books as well as two nonfiction books and two audiobooks. This month I read:

• The Leftover Woman by Jean Kwok – This is a family drama narrated by two different women. Jasmine is a woman who has escaped a bad marriage in China and come to America to find the daughter taken away from her. She has to work awul jobs to pay off the smugglers who brought her here. Rebecca is a wealthy wife and editor who adopted a daugther from China, where she met her husband. As we get to know these two women, and Jasmine races to find her daugther, the wheels come off of everything and it’s a fast-paced thriller at the end. This was a look into adoption, China’s one child policy, and so much more.
• Mickey Chambers Shakes it Up by Charish Reid [audiobook] – This is a cheesy romance that was a simple palate cleanser in between harder-to-read books, and a quick listen on audio. Mickey is a woman trying to find her new path, as she takes a job as a bartender. The bar owner, Diego, is a widower with an attitude. These opposites quickly attract and fight and find their way together throughout this simple, entertaining story.
• Warrior Girl Unearthed by Angeline Boulley – I have loved Boulley ever since I heard her speak at a past Equity conference. I loved her first YA mystery and I loved this one as well! Her writing is beautiful, and she creates powerful young women who are warriors in their own right. She weaves details about the Indigenous culture into every part of her storytelling, from language to history to traditions. In this story we follow Perry and her friends through their summer internship, while Indigenous girls continue to go missing in their area. As Perry learns about the very true Native American Graves Protection Repatriation Act (NAGPRA), she struggles with how her ancestors remains are being treated by museums, tourist shops, and private “collectors”. She is empowered to do something as she learns more, uniting her friends in a dangerous adventure that was fast-paced and thrilling.
• The House in the Pines by Ana Reyes [audiobook] – While looking for an audiobook from my library, I stumbled upon this book, which was a Reese Witherspoon pick I had high hopes for. The first half of the story, as we get to know Maya in her present state and her past, I got sucked into the mystery of how her friend just fell over and died in front of a man Maya had been dating. When a sudden death of another young woman is caught on tape, with the same man present, Maya must confront her past and figure out what happened. Once some of the mystery was reveleaed, this was a big let down, both in storytelling and thriller aspects. I was disappointed with the ending.
• Land of Milk and Honey by C Pam Zhang – I love a good climate fiction story, that takes an element of climate change and accerlates it until we are a dystopian world struggling to survive without resources we are used to. In this case, a deep fog has taken over the world, so people no longer see sky or sunlight and crops go extinct. A young chef, struggling to make ends meet, is hired by an anonymous business man to come work on his hill, known as the Land of Milk and Honey, as he prepares to create a new world order. This chef doesn’t know what she is getting into, but she begins her job, begins to get to know her boss, his daugther and his patrons through her cooking. The writing style is very unique, with disjointed sentences and incomplete storylines jumping around, yet beautiful poetic language. This was a fascinating story to read.
• The Helsinki Affair by Anna Pitoniak – I picked this from Book of the Month because I usually love their thrillers. This was okay, but not great. Amanda is a young CIA agent, just as her father and grandfather were. She is stationed in a boring CIA area in Italy with nothing to do until a Russian man walks in with information. While Amanda belives him, her boss doesn’t and they sit on the information until it comes true. From there, Amanda is tasked with figuring out what the Russians are up to. We flash back to her father’s time in Helsinki, which connects to Amanda’s work in the present day. While this was a fun story line, there were too many characters introduced and switched around too often, and it was about 50 pages longer than it needed to be. With some tight editing this could be a very good mystery.
• Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel – I have enjoyed the What Should I Read Next podcast by Anne Bogel for a few years now. With every episode I am convinced that she has read every book EVER and am so impressed with the depth of her knowledge about books. I knew she had written a few books so I bought this one awhile ago and finally sat down to read it. This is a simple self-help book for those of us who are overthinkers – with anxious minds that cause us to keep thinking about decisions even after we’ve made them. While there was nothing earth-shattering in here, she provides good reminders about setting good habits for your mind and body, make certain decisions once so you never agonize over them again (love the rule that she always buys flowers at Trader Joe’s – I usually do too!), ask for help or outsource when you can, and treat yourself with kindness. This was a quick read and good for anyone who hasn’t yet developed habits for calming an overactive mind.
• Spare by Prince Harry and J.R. Moehringer (Ghost writer) [audiobook] – I have never been a huge fan of the royals. I have never watched a single episode of The Crown. But I do remember Princess Diana’s wedding and her horrible death. While I didn’t run out and get this book as soon as it was released, when I saw the audiobook available from my library I happily listened to it in a few short days. Though I don’t think I learned anything new about the events that led up to Harry and Meghan leaving the UK, I did learn a lot about Harry’s life, how disgusting the British press is, especially the paparrazzi, and how little control Harry had on any part of his life before he left it all behind. I hope that he and his entire family are safe and happy now.
• The Great Transition by Nick Fuller Googins – I LOVE a good cli-fi story! In this one, we meet Emi and her parents, who are living in Nuuk, which is the new Greenland after the great transition. After the earth is ruined by climate change, people fight to get to net zero and to rebuil safely and securley. Some people are happy to live in the new exisistence, while others continue to battle. Like all cli-fi books, the best and worst of humanity come out during tough times. People rally together in beautiful communities and also people do evil things. I liked Emi, depite her being a whiny, angsty teen, and her father was so lovable.

Favorite Books

Fiction: Warrior Girl Unearthed & The Great Transition

Nonfiction: Spare

Picture this: Your district launches a new initiative, after careful review, piloting, and thoughtful decision-making amongst a hard-working committee. The initiative is sent out into the universe with common language and visually appealing graphics to explain the work as the school year begins. People are trying on the new initiative – some are very happy and others may be grumbling, but they are trying. Leaders are checking in and supporting, and things are progressing until… late October hits. You know what late October in schools feels like? Everyone is tired. They haven’t had a long weekend in what feels like forever. Parent conferences are coming, the honeymoon period of good behavior is over, and everyone is feeling some added stress. And what about that shiny new initiative? Around late October, the grumblers are now yelling about how it’s not working, it was a big mistake, the students are bored, the staff hasn’t had enough time or support, and we need to stop it forever. The people who still support the new initiative get quiet. They are fearful of speaking up, speaking against their colleagues. The leader of the initiative is now doubting everything – did we move too fast, did we not offer enough support, was the system not ready for this, should we abandon this now before it gets worse?

In the scenario above, our leader has just entered the messy middle. This is the time in an initiative that that in research is often called the implementation dip. After a solid start, everything takes a dip, seems less successful. During this slump people are quick to want to abandon the initiative, to quit, to give up and move on to the next shiny object. But it is a mistake. Despite the challenges of the messy middle, and there are challenges, it is important for a leader to see through and know that good is coming on the other side. When you work in a system that is very responsive to teacher feedback, the messy middle may convince you that you have failed with an initiative. From experience pushing through and also quitting too soon, I can say that getting through the implementation dip is worth it when your initiative is impactful for teachers and student learning. Sometimes the messy middle can help you tweak a plan, to make it more teacher-friendly, or easier-to-use. It can also be a time to recognize that more time, resources or support are needed and to adjust your plans moving forward. But these options are better than quitting when it gets hard.

Another way to think about this is to study the graphic above. I believe I first saw this graphic in a class in my doctoral program, but can’t remember the specific source. I found this picture sourced here. According to this research, in order to have a successful change (i.e., a new initiative) you need vision, skills, incentives, resources, and an action plan. When you are missing one element, you will have different outcomes, none of which will be successful.

When you are in the middle of the messy middle, this is a great graphic to analyze alongside the feedback you are receiving. Teachers often say, “We don’t have enough time!” or “This isn’t working” or “The District didn’t roll this out well”. These are often coded ways of asking for more support, which means that skills need to be developed or incentives introduced or more resources shared. It’s hard for a professional to say something like, “I’m afraid I am failing” or “I don’t think I’m good enough to do this well”. Those are the worry above that are really a call for more skill development. Once I can pinpoint which area is missing in the messy middle, I can work with a team to plan a way forward that supports the people in the classrooms, doing the most important work with our students.

Next time you feel the implementation dip set in, take time to reflect on where you are and what your system needs moving forward. Don’t give up!

This post is part of a series called Explorations in Instructional Leadership. I plan to use this series to dive into some of the topics that are rising to the surface in my work, topics that I am researching for future study, and topics that impact student learning and pedagogy.

Introduction to Explorations in Instructional Leadership

The Science of Reading

Scope and Sequence

How to Teach Reading

We are heading into a time of significant consumer spending by most of us and also a time when charitable giving is front and center. I wanted to share a few of the charities I have supported over the years in case these inspire anyone else. I’m always looking for places to give where I feel I am making a personal impact, when I can’t give of my time or physical efforts. There is also a fine line between giving and feeling like a White savior that I walk closely and carefully. I have used the Charity Navigator site before to search the details of charities that felt “sketchy” to me, or to ensure that I know where my donations go. I don’t think we talk about this enough so I am making my thoughts public.

Here are a few places I have found worthy of my support. I would love to here other suggestions.

• Project Night Night – This organization provides individual packages for children who are unhoused. The packages always include a book, a blanket and an animal – small tokens that can provide security for a child living in uncertain circumstances. The guarantee of a child owning one book makes my readerly heart sing!
• The Trevor Project and The San Diego LGBT Community Center – One national and one local organization, both providing support for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. The Trevor Project is an incredible resource and the world’s largest suicide prevention and mental health support provider for the LGBTQIA+ community.
• Together Rising – This organization was created by Glennon Doyle and an incredible team “to turn our collective heartbreak into effective action”. Hearing Glennon, Amanda, and Abby speak about their work on their podcast We Can Do Hard Things helps me know that this organization gets resources directly into the hands of women, children, people of color and marginalized people in our society who are stuck behind systemic barriers not of their own making.
• San Diego Food Bank – I have an aunt who worked for her local food bank for years, and did so much good through their organization that I support food banks when I can. I donate to my local city one, and during the Maui fires I donated to the Maui Food Bank to support from afar.
  • Water for South Sudan – I discovered this organization after reading the book A Long Walk to Water, which is based on the true story of Salva Dut. I had the honor to meet Salva and hear from him personally at a book event with some work friends last year. When I know the personal story of someone, hear their experiences in their home country, and know the specific work they are doing with locals in the area to bring clean water to villages, I want to support them directly.
  • The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research – Not only do I love this actor as a performer and a human, but I have seen what Parkinson’s does and want to support research.
  • Memorial Sloane Kettering Cancer Center and Melanoma Research Foundation – In honor of my mom, who lost her battle with Melanoma (#CancerSucks).
  • Pancreatic Cancer Action Network – In honor of my aunt who lost her battle with Pancreatic Cancer (#CancerSucks).

When we have local, national and global crises, I will often find specific reputable charities who are helping on the ground, in the moment. When rights are being taken away from groups, or hate for a specific group is growing, often around election cycles, I will also donate more towards those groups. In addition to donations, I use the power of voting, writing to my elected officials, attending marches, being an activist, and using the privilege I live in to be a voice for those who aren’t invited to the tables or whose safety is in danger in places where mine is not.

What charities do you donate to and why?

October was so busy that it’s taken me 5 days into November to post what I read. I really leaned into audiobooks this month. I’m grateful that I can add fast-paced thrillers to the list of what I like on audio (including memoirs and YA). Speaking of memoirs, I’m grateful that I read Matthew Perry’s book when it came out last year. I was devastated by his death last week and grateful to know more about his struggles told through his words. Memoirs are so powerful and I love when people can tell their stories in a way that we can connect to, even if we haven’t had similar experiences, and that shows the lessons they’ve learne. This month I read:

• The Five-Star Weekend by Elin Hilderbrand – I enjoyed this book less than some of Elin’s other books, but I think I just wasn’t in the mood for a light, beachy read in a busy Fall season. In this story famous food blogger Hollis creates a five-star weekend by inviting four friends from different eras of her life: high school, college, child-rearing years, and present day. She does this as a way to recover from her husband’s sudden death and to reconnect. Throughout the weekend on Nantucket we get to know the friends and the friendships and all the drama that came before. I found the women to be too real housewife-like and over-the-top too much of the time and I was underwhelmed overall.
• Thicker Than Water: A Memoir by Kerry Washington [audiobook] – I heard Kerry Washington speak on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast and I knew I needed to read her new memoir. Of course I chose to listen to the audio version because I LOVE listening to a celebrity read their own memoir and this one did not disappoint. Kerry is beautiful human, a talented actress, and a passionate story teller. In this memoir, Kerry shares the “revelation” about her family that her parents shared with her at age 43. She hints to it at the beginning of the book, then sets the stage for their family and her childhood and career, and then reveals it to us, the reader. She does this with great respect for her parents and for her own intuition. This was an excellent memoir! And it made me need to go back and start rewatching Scandal, which I am loving!
• None of This is True by Lisa Jewell [audiobook] – My favorite book podcast, Currenty Reading, talked about this thriller in the summer and I knew I wanted to read/listen to it. It was a fun, mixed media, propulsive story that I enjoyed! It’s hard to say much without spoiling any of the story, but it begins with Alex and Josie meeting each other on their 45th birthdays, when both are out celebrating with their husbands and realize they were born on the same day in the same hospital. That leads to them considering doing a podcast about this random meeting and then a lot happens as we get to know both of these women and their families and histories.
• Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma – This was a book club pick and I’m glad it was chosen because I wasn’t aware of it before now. In this collection of essays, the author attempts to grapple with the dilemma we face when the artist whose art we love (music, movies, paintings, etc.) is a monster, a terrible person. Ever since the Neverland documentary was released, I have not listened to a Michael Jackson song. Not once. And I grew up LOVING his music. Truthfully, I still do. But hearing about what he did to young children back when I was a young child, after we were lied to over and over again about his actions, made me so sick that I had to ban his music from my life. This book explores a number of male artists with horrible personal lives, and some women who are considered monsters for far less crimes, and whether or not we, as fans, can still love them. Because really it is about love. I’m still conflicted, but she did make some points that there are no perfect people and we are all terrible in our own ways. I might not start listening to the music on my way, but I might allow myself to enjoy the MJ musical I will be seeing in a few months. As a separate note, the writing was very repetitive and most of her examples were very old and outdated. Our book club discussion was fascinating because most people hated this book and were mad that she didn’t make a definitive statement about this dilemma we all face. From that discussion, I did learn about and highly enjoyed this podcast: Think Twice: Michael Jackson.
• The Woman in Me by Britney Spears [audiobook] – I love a celebrity memoir but this was a bit of a disappointment. Britney reads the prologue and then the actress Michelle Williams reads the book, which I was fine with because I’m not a fan of Britney’s speaking voice/baby talk voice. Before this book was released we had heard the most salcious parts already (Justin made her get an abortion, her father was controlling), but I was hoping there would be more depth within. I felt like this was a retelling of the timeline of her life, with the major highlights mentioned briefly, with no supporting details. Also, for a memoir I think this was seriously lacking in any lessons learned. I think Britney is not far enough out on her own yet, and still so stunted in her teenage years – she never seemed to truly get over her breakup with Justin and then her freedom being taken away for over a decade under the control of her father. I was sad reading this, and worried for her future, but not enlightened at all.
• Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau [audiobook] – I LOVED this book! This is a coming of age story about Mary Jane, a 14 year who takes a summer nanny job for a family down the street, in 1970’s Baltimore suburbia. As Mary Jane gets to know Izzy and her eccentric parents, she is soon a part of a family completely unlike her own. When a rockstar and his movie star wife have to move in, Mary Jane’s new family and her life get turned upside down. Seeing each character through the young and innocent eyes of Mary Jane was both sweet and endearing, especially as she learned some hard truths about life and her own parents. This was a beautiful story that made me want to google Jimmy and his fictional band. I love that the audiobook ended with a song performed for us. This is a must-listen-to book!
• Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese – This is a beautiful, sweeping family saga that covers multiple generations in this Indian family. We meet a young girl promised to marry an older man, taken from her home and brought to a strange place to make a new life, and we feel as scared as she was. As we watch her grow into a wife, a woman, and a mother, we meet so many other characters along the way. I love how different storylines, that seemed so unconnected, merged by the end. I could feel the heat, the fear and power of the water, the monsoons, and the elephant’s kind gestures as I lived through generations with this family. I loved this very long book!
• We Want to do More Than Survive: Abolitionist Teaching and the Pursuit of Academic Freedom by Bettina A. Love – I’ve owned this book for awhile, as I heard good things about this book and author. Bettina A. Love is a professor and a scholar determined to teach us, especially us white educators, who we need to do to change the educational system for Black children, who we continued to fail. She takes very personal examples from her own life as well as from research, to illustrate what it means to be an abolitionist. We need to do more than be allies, we need to be the abolitionists who move beyond what it means to be white in America and fight for systemic changes. The chapter that most impacted me was when she asked us to look at the educational gimmicks like No Excuses, Grit, Character Ed, and more, and see those for what they have become- ways to manage and control Black bodies. “There is no amount of grit that can fight off the intersections of living in poverty, being pushed out of school, facing a world full of patriarchy and racism, and sufferening toxic stress.” She shares the importance and necessity of joy and that educators must take care of themselves in order to do this work.

Favorite Books

Fiction: Mary Jane & Covenant of Water

Nonfiction: Thicker Than Water: A Memoir

September was such a great reading month that I just didn’t want it to end. This month I read:

• The Trap by Catherine Ryan Howard – I LOVE this author and will always read her new books! This one was a great, fast-paced mystery with multiple narrators, shifting timelines, and us trying to figure out what happened to the missing girls before another one goes missing. This one was engaging and so fun to read, despite the hard circumstances.
• Whirligig by Paul Fleischmann [audiobook] – My friend Lauren mentioned this book to me the other day and I couldn’t believe I had never read it. As a middle school English teacher I read and discussed many of Fleischman’s books with my students. This one seemed more appropriate for high school age students, which is why it might have gone under my radar back when it was published (in the 1990’s). Bret, a teenager, makes a terrible mistake and then has to pay for his mistake. As he does so, he learns what a whirligig is, how to make one, and how one person’s actions can have impact long after they are gone. This was an interesting story told in different times and locations.
• Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano – This was a beautiful, sad, touching family saga that follows four sisters throughout their lives. We first meet William, a young boy from a tortured family, who grows up very tall and loving basketball more than anything else. When William meets the Padavano family, he finds love shown in more ways than he has ever known. There are big swings of emotions, of sibling fighting, of good and bad choices, of losses and more, throughout this rich, beautifully-told story.
• Holding the Note: Profiles in Popular Music by David Remnick [audiobook] – My favorite member of the New Kids on the Block (NKOTB) is and has always been Joey McIntyre. Joey read this book some months ago and talked about it on Instagram and I was intrigued enough to look for the audio version in my library app. This is a collection of essays, most of which were previously publised in The New Yorker. Each essay profiles a famous musician. I enjoyed the behind the scenes look into the lives of people such as Paul McCartney, Aretha Franklin, and Bruce Springsteen. This gave a little biography/ life story, a little musicl history, and a glimpse into the actual person behind the world famous music. I found it interesting.
• The Intern by Michele Campbell – I picked this from Book of the Month because I usually enjoy their thrillers. Madison is a Harvard Law student with a brother in trouble when her professor offers her an internship in her chambers. As Madison gets closer to the judge, both women are keeping secrets and trying to help their families. This was suspenseful and tense up until the very end.
• Where the Lockwood Grows by Olivia A. Cole [audiobook] – I found this audiobook from my library and am so happy I read it! Erie and Hurona, named after two Great Lakes, live in Prine in this Cli-Fi middle grades story. In this world, fires have burned most everything in America and a giant Lockwood tree chokes the town of Prine. Each day, children have to climb into the tree to cut back new vines so that the sunlight can hit the town’s solar panels for a few hours a day. Life is the same in Prine day in and day out. But when the sisters strike out to the big city, everything changes!
• Invisible Son by Kim Johnson [audiobook] – This was a beautiful, sad, hard-to-read book that needs to be read by more! We follow Andre, a young Black man on probation for a crime he didn’t comitt, in Portland Oregon at the start of the pandemic. As Andre tries to figure out who he can trust and what happened in his case, the world is shutting down, and the the nation is waking up to a racial reckoning after the murder of George Floyd. This YA novel is full of Andre’s friends and family and a hard look at the life of a Black teenager in America. While it’s hard to remember this time in our not-so-distant past, the author does an incredible job making the story meanginful, authentic, and steeped in history and reality.
• On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen – I read this for my book club, which is how I often read books that would’t otherwise be on my radar at all. As someone who is not religious, I didn’t have any interest in reading about the religious history of the seven deadly sins, yet the opening historical chapter was very interesting to me. I appreciated that each chapter then dissected a “sin” and how it shows up in our society today, making the patriarchy even stronger than we realize. The chapters on envy and gluttony were personally very interesting. The author shared a lot of personal stories about herself and her family, but I literally didn’t know who she was (she worked for goop for years). Our book club discussion made me reflect on HOW PERSONAL and not flattering many of her stories were, and it actually made me like the book a little less! Before our meeting I was rating this a 4 star read, and after I felt like it was a 3.5 for me.
• Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister [audiobook] – This was such a great thriller! The story starts with Jen witnessing her 18 year old son Todd using a knife to kill a stranger in front of their house. She is horrified and scared and has no idea what happened. When she wakes up the next day, she has gone back in time. The entire novel is a story of her going backwards in time, trying to piece together the mystery of who her son killed, why he killed him, and what’s really going on. This was so propulsive that I couldn’t wait to find out the final puzzle

Favorite Books

Fiction: Hello Beautiful & Wrong Place Wrong Time

Nonfiction: While I read two nonfiction books this month, neither were 4-5 star reads for me.