The Best Gift Ever

Posted on December 16, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

As Christmas approaches, for those of you who celebrate the holiday, I want to share one of the best presents I have ever received. It is a gift that was homemade by one of my best friends, she spent more time than money on its creation, and it has provided me YEARS of entertainment.  It is a perpetual calendar.

This calendar is actually a box full of 365 index cards, one for every day of the year. My friend, who is very artistic and creative, hand wrote a day of the year in the top right hand corner of each card. She also inserted decorative cards for each month of the year. She filled out one sample card for me, so that I knew what this gift was when she gave it to me, back in September of 2013 as a birthday gift.

As you can see by the two sample cards below, each day I write the year and I make a note of something that happened that day.  Typically, my routine in the morning is to write my note about the previous day, and then read what I had written on today’s card for the past few years.  The first year I had the cards, I didn’t write every day (as you can tell by the fact that December 19, 2013 is missing). But once I went through the first year and began again, I was disappointed on any day that didn’t have a note. So I have made a conscious effort to write something every day.

I try to write something positive, though that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes I write about work; others times I write about something I did on a weekend day or after work. It’s usually just a simple phrase about my life.  What makes this so great is that it’s a gift that keeps on giving.  Every day I have as many as 5 little memories to read about. It’s so much fun when I am reminded of something fun or exciting, like my African Safari, or getting a new job, or skydiving! It’s funny when I can text a friend and say, “Hey, remember when you came down to San Diego and we had dinner two years ago today? Let’s do that again soon!”  Sometimes I text someone to say, “I wrote this on my perpetual calendar 4 years ago. Any idea what I was talking about?!” As much as I am a digital woman, despising paper in most of my life, I truly love the fact that I have to handwrite a note each day on these cards. The ability to flip through index cards and get a sense of my life is fun and thought-provoking.

This perpetual calendar is a record of my life over the last 5 years, with space for many more years to come. I truly love this gift and treasure the time my friend took to make it for me. When I mentioned this to her again the other day, she told me I should blog about it. So here it is. Thank you, Lauren!

I encourage you to give this amazing gift to a friend or family member who enjoys journaling, or the idea of journaling without the time! You might ask Santa to bring you this as a gift this year, or you might just create it yourself.

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Perpetual Calendar

 

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Reflecting on Another Year of Blogging

Posted on December 15, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

I tend to reflect on my blogging life twice a year – in July, when the anniversary of when I started this blog arrives, and in December, as all of the end of the year lists and notes come around. A few years ago I create a survey to summarize my blogging for the year. Each year I adapt the survey a little, based on my latest reflections.

My favorite blog topics this year:

My most read blog posts from this year:

The month in which I published the most posts:

  • January – 4 posts, down from 6 last January!
  • April, June, July, and September  tied for second place with 3 posts!

The top countries where my blog readers live (outside of the US):

  • Philippines
  • Hong Kong (new to the list this year)
  • Canada
  • Australia
  • United Kingdom

Terms people searched that helped them arrive at my blog:

  • art of questioning
  • leadership voice
  • reflection
  • core values reflection
  • over scaffolding

Blogging goals for 2019:

Last year I wrote: Keep reflecting! Keep writing! Keep reading!  I still have those goals, but I want to add something new for next year.

  • Highlight my coaching posts (past and future) that align with the instructional coaching book I am going to finish soon! #CoachADV
  • Blog more in 2019 than I did in 2018 (26 posts).

 

Possibility 2018

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A Year of Possibility

Posted on December 2, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

Possibility 2018

Every December for the last few years I have spent time reflecting on the past 365 days and looking ahead to the coming year. In December of 2017 I knew that the word possibility was going to be my word. It was through my reflective process that I added the supporting phrase of “adventures that stretch” to my word of the year.

Even though I’ve only blogged about possibility twice this year (Possibilities are Everywhere and Lessons Learned Skydiving), I’ve thought about my word often, and used it to guide my decision-making throughout the year. Possibilities presented themselves to me personally and professionally, and there were a few adventures that definitely helped me stretch. There were also some possibilities that I chose not to engage in, for my own sake. It’s interesting how not doing something is as much of a choice as doing something is.

It’s almost time for me to start thinking about a new word for next year. Even writing 2019 feels weird – how did we get here already? I’m not sure where my reflection will take me next, but I enjoy the process every time. I truly feel that the right word comes to me when I need it, for the right reasons. Some years I lean into my physical well-being or my personal life. Other years my professional growth is calling to me. Stay tuned on January 1st for what my next word or phrase will be. Will you be choosing a word for 2019?

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What I Read in November 2018

Posted on December 1, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

I keep a monthly record of what I’ve read for my own, aging mind to remember! This month I read:

  • Medical Medium: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal by Anthony William- This is the first book by this author; last month I read one of his more recent books. I find his ideas fascinating, and I’m trying out some of his recommendations for my own health.
  • Run by Kody Keplinger – This was a YA book I’ve had sitting on my shelf for awhile. It’s a story where each chapter is alternately told from either Bo or Agnes’ point of view; I always enjoy that storytelling style. Bo is from a troubled family and Agnes is legally blind. Their friendship is unexpected and leads to a disastrous road trip that teaches them each about themselves and their own strengths and weaknesses. I enjoyed the story and the characters.
  • Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell – What a great, sad story! I stumbled upon this book randomly, but once I read the description I knew I would like it. Each part of the book was narrated by a different character, with flashbacks and present scenes throughout. From the beginning you know that teen Ellie went missing years ago, but you don’t know how or what happened to her. As you learn those details, you also learn how Laurel, her mother, has coped with the loss.
  • Below the Belt (Stone Barrington #40) by Stuart Woods – Another great story in one of my favorite series, with Stone and Holly together traveling to a variety of his houses.
  • I am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll – A great psychological thriller I discovered for free through Amazon Prime. There were a number of witnesses telling the story, from past and present, of a young girl’s disappearance. Her father, her friend, and a witness all tell their versions of what happened before and after.

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My Relaxing 5 Before 2019

Posted on November 21, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

My friend Mari wrote about this blogging challenge last week and I wanted to join in on the fun! The challenge asks us each to name 5 ways we will relax, or take time for ourselves, between now and the end of 2018. While I am a hard worker at work, and I work way more than 40 hours a week most weeks, I am also highly practiced in the art of relaxation.  Here are 5 ways I commit to relaxing outside of work before 2019 arrives.

  1. Reading for fun! I love to read, especially fiction, during my vacation and weekends. I’m trying to read more in 2018 than I did in 2017, so I’m also on a mission to read a certain number of books in the next month. If you have any fun fiction recommendations, let me know. I prefer mysteries, YA lit, and cheesy chic lit.
  2. Friend & Family time – This is something I always try to make time for in my life. I love spending time with my friends and my family.  This Thanksgiving week has already brought some fun friend adventures and I’m soon to be with my family near and far as well.
  3. Decorating for Christmas – This year I’m going to hang up sparkly Christmas lights on my balcony for the first time ever. I love Christmas decorations and don’t put much inside my house because my two crazy cats will knock anything and everything over. But outside lights are safe from them!
  4. Massage and facial – I get regular massages but I also booked myself a facial for the end of the month – a great way to treat myself to some extra relaxation.
  5. Sunsets – I commit to enjoying as many sunsets as possible for the rest of this year. I love sunsets on the west coast! I’ve seen two great ones this week already and I plan to make a point to see more.

sunset lake murray

 

What are your Relaxing 5? 

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Does Stress Bring Out Your Best or Your Worst?

Posted on November 2, 2018 by Amy's Reflections
stress

Source: http://www.netchiro.com/coping-with-stress-and-avoiding-burnout/

Stress.  It’s a daily part of life. Not all stress is bad. Not everyone reacts the same to stress. I find that stressful situations often bring out the best or the worst in people.  I have seen the best and the worst in others during especially challenging times. But rather than point the finger, I want to take time to reflect on my own actions.  I know that as a leader, stress has brought out both the best and the worst in me at various times throughout my life.

When I have been stressed out and overwhelmed in the past, I have been known to snap at people. I have worked hard to address this, so that I don’t take my stress out on others.

As a leader, I have allowed stress to affect my health and well-being. I continue to work hard on this one, so that I maintain a healthier lifestyle and can handle stress better.

I have also found myself listening a lot during stressful times. When a large issue impacts a staff/district, you can learn a lot by listening. Often times, people need to vent, but they also need to be heard. They want to be a part of the planning, the problem-solving, and the ultimate solution, especially if they will be directly impacted.

When I am feeling stress and know that others are as well, I have recently taken to writing a quick email or text to individuals to let them know I care about them, I appreciate them, or to wish them a good day. This simple act of kindness goes a long way to spread good will, to enhance personal relationships, and it feels good to make someone else smile.

If stress can bring out my best or my worst, I want to cultivate habits that will lead me towards my best self in trying times. Some of the habits I have used over the years to learn to adapt to stress include:

  • Meditation/ Mindfulness/ Breathing – Any version of this, often with the help of an app like Headspace, can calm me down or ground me in the present.
  • Stepping Away – If I know I am stressed and have the potential to take it out on others, I will consciously step away. This might involve closing my office door for a little while. It might mean going for a walk, taking a drive, listening to music, or taking a breathing break. By stepping away, I can limit my worst self negatively impacting others.
  • Writing– I reflect best when I take time to write about a situation. If I am stressed, I go to my journal to process my thoughts. I can take my stress out there without harming anyone around me. It’s possible that this blog post began in a journal entry!
  • Friend Support – Calling a friend, scheduling a walking date or a happy hour, or making plans to do something fun can often distract me and lift my spirits.
  • Problem-solving – Sometimes the stress needs to be addressed. I find that if I make a plan for solving the immediate problem, I feel better. I love to make lists and check off completed items, so this fuels my Type A personality!
  • Collaboration – Two heads are often better than one. When I find myself working through a stressful situation, I appreciate the opportunity to collaborate with someone else on the issue.

Some behaviors I have witnessed in others (or in myself in the past) that bring out the worst in people:

  • Blaming others/ Pointing the finger/ Throwing someone else under the bus
  • Spreading rumors
  • Generating negativity
  • Taking no responsibility
  • Bringing past grievances into current problems
  • Inability to listen or acknowledge another point of view

I have had the privilege to work with some amazing leaders. Some of my leadership mentors model a positive way to lead through stressful times. The traits and actions I have observed in them include:

  • Taking responsibility
  • Communicating clearly and effectively
  • Addressing rumors and misinformation head-on
  • Acknowledging the challenges
  • Staying positive
  • Supporting others
  • Listening with intent

These are some of my thoughts on this topic today. I’d love to hear from you. What do you do to ensure that stress brings out your best and not your worst? What behaviors do you work to avoid during stressful situations?

 

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What I Read in October 2018

Posted on October 31, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

During the month of October I read:

  • The Thousandth Floor (Series #1) by Katharine McGee – I saw this YA book recommended a few times recently. It was much longer than I was expecting, with a lot of characters to get to know at first. Each chapter was told from a different character’s perspective, which I normally like. However, it was confusing at first because of the number of characters in this story, as well as the fact that it was set so far in the future with a lot of made-up things.  It’s clear that it was setting up for a series, but it was hard to get into at first. By the end, I was hooked enough to consider reading more in the series (especially to see if Mariel will figure out that Erdis was pushed off the roof, unlike what she was told).
  • Sex, Lies and Serious Money by Stuart Woods – Another great one in my favorite series, though this was less about Stone and more about a new character, a billionaire who just won the lottery. I love reading about the filthy rich, who can buy multiple houses in one story.
busy p book

This Will Only Hurt a Little by Busy Philips

  • This Will Only Hurt a Little by Busy Philips – I listened to this audiobook read by the author, who is a fun celebrity whose Instagram stories I enjoy as much as her past acting gigs. This was a raw, real memoir about painful stories, male chauvinism, and funny, stressful acting situations. I love celebrity autobiographies and this was no exception.
  • The Midnight Line (Reacher #22) by Lee Child- I haven’t read a Reacher novel in awhile, so it was fun to get back into this larger-than-life character (and I’m still annoyed that Tom Cruise was cast as him for the movie!). In this story, Reacher finds a West Point ring in a pawn shop, and goes out of his way to find it’s rightful owner, through a small town opiate ring, partnering with a private investigator and a civilian along the way.
  • This is Me: Loving the Person You are Today by Chrissy Metz – My second celebrity-read autobiography this month! I love this actress in one of the best shows on TV, This is Us, so I wanted to hear her stories. She is funny and real and down-to-earth about her successes and her challenges. She seems like a genuinely good person.
  • Thyroid Healing by Anthony William – This is a health and wellness book I heard about by following the author on Instagram (Medical Medium). There are lots of tips and recipes to support healing.
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Learning Leadership from Big Brother

Posted on October 16, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

I don’t know about you, but every summer I find myself glued to my television three nights a week as each new episode of the reality show Big Brother airs.  I have watched all 20 (!) seasons of the show and I love the insanity of each summer.  But this summer was different.  The cast was full of nice people. And since they’ve all left the house and resumed their real lives, they have stayed in contact and shared their friendships live across the world via social media. [If you don’t know anything about the show, keep reading… I promise you will see a connection to leadership in a moment!]

As I have watched this evolution, which is so different from past seasons of contestants, I realized that there is more than just a reality show here.  You might be surprised to know that I believe we can learn leadership lessons from this particular season of this particular reality show.

Here are my top leadership lessons learned from Big Brother Season 20:

  1. LOYALTY – If you know the show at all, loyalty has not been a strength of many past contestants.  However, this season’s winner, Kaycee Clark (shout out to my hometown hero!), played an incredibly loyal game from beginning to end. As leaders, loyalty is important in our every day interactions with students, staff, parents, and community. When a school community knows that their leader is loyal, they feel safe. With safety comes trust, security, and risk-taking.  Loyalty is an important leadership strength that goes beyond wearing your school colors and deep into being there for your school community day in and day out.
  2. CREATIVITY – The premise of the Big Brother show is that a group of strangers are locked in a house with no access to the outside world – no TV, no music, no other people, and limited outdoor time. This is sometimes a recipe for craziness and drama.  It can also lead to some outstanding creativity.  This summer the house guests created their own original song (about Tyler), made crafts out of the random material available in the house (Sam was quite resourceful!), invented their own #TyeDyeMonday, and did a lot of hair straightening on each other. Leaders can serve as the models of creativity – whether it is about looking at budget concerns from a new perspective, or avoiding saying “no” to unusual requests, or celebrating what makes each student and educator unique. If leaders were forced to disconnect from social media and the outside world and only use what was available to them to solve a problem, how creative could we be?
  3. SUPPORT – I cannot imagine how I would deal with the daily pressure of living in a house with strangers where every move I made was recorded for the world to see. There were many moments throughout this year’s Big Brother where a house guest broke down crying. There were also many moments of support. During these moments, it didn’t matter which alliance people were from; they supported one another as caring human beings, not competitors. In education, sometimes people may break down in tears, but more often, the stress manifests itself in other ways.  As leaders, we can model support through big and small gestures – checking in on individuals when you know they’ve had a rough day, listening when someone shares a problem or a concern, or stopping our busy pace to make a personal connection with a colleague, especially during stressful situations. All educators work hard and deserve support from their leaders as well as their peers.
  4. ENCOURAGEMENT – Despite the fact that the Big Brother contestants were competing against one another for a $500,000 grand prize, they spent most of their time encouraging one another. In each competition, down to the battle between the final three, the house guests cheered each other on, offering words of encouragement and support. Since leaving the house, they have continued to encourage one another to dream big and achieve more. As leaders, we want to remember to be the voice that offers encouragement. Staff and students will respond better to positive encouragement than to criticism. We can encourage risk-taking, innovation, and hard work. We can celebrate the success of our peers and teammates because by lifting each other up, we encourage our entire community to do the same.
  5. STRATEGY – The Big Brother 20 winner, Kaycee, shared her game strategy before she went into the house. In her post-game interviews, she was able to say that she executed her strategy just as she had hoped to, and quite successfully (to the tune of $500,000!). Leaders need a strategy as well.  A strategy is a plan that helps us achieve our goals, whether short or long-term. Strategic leaders think two, three, and four steps ahead, always preparing for what is coming and how to overcome any obstacles along the way.

So if we are to learn anything from this reality show, I ask you to consider these questions as you reflect on your leadership:

  • How do you demonstrate loyalty as a leader?
  • How do you model and leave space for creativity in your work?
  • How do you support your school community?
  • In what ways do you offer words of encouragement to others?
  • What is your strategy and how do you communicate it to others? How do you involve others in strategic thinking on behalf of our students?

And if you had no idea what half of this blog was about, tune in to CBS for the winter season of Celebrity Big Brother or next summer’s season 21!

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Kaycee Clark, BB 20 Winner     Source: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/big-brother-20-kaycee-clark-finale-interview-1147464 

 

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What I Read in September 2018

Posted on September 30, 2018 by Amy's Reflections

After my disastrous August reading, I was determined to do better this month. I am proud that I read so much more!

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Educated by Tara Westover 

  • Educated by Tara Westover – I read so many positive reviews about this book that I knew I would enjoy it. Tara’s memoir chronicles her upbringing in a family who was Mormon, but whose father did not believe anything good came from the government (including school, medicine, and more). Tara didn’t know how abusive her relationships were until many years after she had found a way to thrive away from home. Her formal education began at the college level and she worked hard for each degree she earned. It was fascinating to read about a way a life so different from anything I’ve ever known.
  • Family Jewels (Stone Barrington #37) by Stuart Woods – One way for me to read a book quickly is to give me a Stuarts Wood book, especially in this long series that I love! I appreciated that Ed Eagle, a cross over character from Santa Fe, had a brief appearance in this story about stole jewels and cross-country wealth and crime.
  • The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin – In asking for a book recommendation, this title was shared. I loved the story structure. After four siblings visit a fortune-teller and learn the date they will each die, we follow each of their life stories, one at a time. The entire premise makes you wonder if they lived their lives a certain way because they knew the day they were supposed to die, and whether knowing helped or hurt them live fulfilling lives. It was tragic, surreal, sad, and yet so interesting.
  • Dishonorable Intentions (Stone Barrington #38) by Stuart Woods – Yet another fast-paced mystery, where Stone is being hunted by yet another ex-husband of a woman he is involved with. This story finds him in New Mexico, NY, England, LA, and New Mexico repeatedly. I’m sad that Gala, the sister of Ed Eagle’s wife, turned out to be another ex for Stone.
  • The Silent Sister by Diane Chamberlain – I bought this book as a discounted e-book while buying some of the others I’ve read lately, not knowing the author but liking the description. I’m so glad I found it! I really enjoyed the story of Riley, as she cleans up her father’s estate and learns hidden secrets about each of her family members. There were fun twists and turns and some flashbacks, as well as different narrators, which kept the story moving.
  • The Bay at Midnight by Diane Chamberlain – Once I discover a new author and realize she has many other books, I start to go crazy! I enjoyed this story not only because it took place on the Jersey Shore, where I have many fond childhood memories, but also for the mysterious twists and turns within it. It was sad to follow the journey Isabel’s family took to finally learn what happened when she died as a teenager, because they had to recognize the flaws in those they loved.
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The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

 

 

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Social Media: Friend or Foe?

Posted on September 16, 2018 by Amy's Reflections
Social Media

Social Media

Recently I’ve been reading and viewing a lot about the use of social media for business, for education, and for fun. I’ve been an avid social media user for personal and professional reasons for many years. In fact, next week I’m running a workshop about using social media to tell your school or district’s story.  I continue to encourage my colleagues to use Twitter as a way to tell their professional story as well as to connect with other professionals for their own growth.

However, I often seen social media used for negative purposes: spamming people with products, self-promotion without interaction, and anonymous bashing of others. When we see these negative examples, it’s harder to convince new users to join or participate in the positive aspects of social media.

Despite the negativity, I will continue to encourage others to find their purpose within social media.  For some people, one form of social media is an escape – a way to look at cute animals or silly videos for an easy laugh; this is Instagram for me. For others, social media is a way to stay connected to loved ones who are far away; this is Facebook for me. Some people use a social media tool to find motivation, to be healthy, or for DIY projects; this is Pinterest for me. Finally, some people use social media to learn, to grow as a professional, and to help the world at large see the amazing work we do as educators; this is Twitter for me.

If you use social media, I encourage you to share how and why you use it, and to make the positive outshine the negative. I also implore you to invite others into your SM journey! Please use the comment section below to share how you use Social Media.

Let your positive outshine the negative

Edited on 9/21/18: After I published this short, simple post expressing a few thoughts, I read a disturbing blog post. To read that a fellow educator and blogger has received death threats via anonymous comment son her blog was frightening.  However, she didn’t let those threats scare her away from writing; she is letting that fuel her fire. One of the comments on that blog post references this Internet Pledge, which is a great resource. Let’s keep sharing resources and letting our positive outshine that negative.

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