Reflections on Leadership and Learning

When 2024 began, I chose DELIGHT as my word of the year. Rereading my original post, I forgot about the story of my nephew using the word “delightful” with me. It makes me smile to think that he inspired my word choice. Looking back on this year now, as we near the end, I also know that I was prepared for some of the hard things that were coming this year. Sadly, I could not have predicted how hard 2024 would be for me. But somehow, I knew that I would need the reminder to find the small joys, the daily delights, to help me get through some seriously hard stuff. During my blog birthday post, I found a lot of DELIGHTS from the first half of this year.

During the last 12 months, my father was diagnosed with lymphoma, had back surgery, and began chemotherapy. Then I had to put my cat Callie down, at the young age of 8, due to significant health concerns. We spent 7 months by my father’s side as he battled cancer, at 81 years old, like a warrior. One of my greatest delights during that time was the many hours he and I sat together, talking, sharing memories, asking him about his childhood, hearing about his entire career and the work he was proud of, and watching our old family movie, When Harry Met Sally, together. Despite his herculean efforts, the cancer beat him and my father passed away on July 26, 2024.

During the weeks and months of grief after that, we sadly lost an aunt, also to cancer, and a family friend we considered an uncle. By the time I got through the Celebration of Life for my father and my first birthday on earth with neither of my parents alive, I thought I had seen the end of the hardships, at least for this year. Then some significant bumps came my way at work and finally the 2024 election hit.

Wow. What a year. When I look back at all the hard things, it’s almost impossible to see the bright side. However, I truly think having the word DELIGHT helped me through these times. Despite continued heartbreaks, grief, and trauma, there are elements of my life that brought me delight this year. I was blessed to still be able to travel this year. The Galapagos Islands was one of my most spectacular vacations EVER, and Panama was a joyful friend vacation. I was able to see many concerts, including my 25th NKOTB event! I spent time with friends, family and friends who are family. I read a lot of great books. I work with incredible people and am inspired by my colleagues and our community. My brother still cooks for us almost every week. I rode many miles on my Peloton and walked many miles near the bay and the beach. I caught some spectacular sunsets. I meditated for over 100 days in a row. In fact, I developed such a habit that I only accidentally skipped meditation on 4 days over the last 5 months, which is delightful to me.

While 2024 wasn’t exactly what I imagined, nor what I wanted, I am still here and stronger because of it. I am looking forward to turning 50 in 2025 (I love the alignment in those numbers!). I am looking forward to good work I’m proud of, travels with friends and family, closure in some ways, and new beginnings. I hold both fears and hopes inside. I am grateful for how DELIGHT stayed with me this year. I look forward to finding my next word.

I read a lot of 5 star books in October! This was a fun reading time full of different styles and genres. This month I read:

• Looking for Jane by Heather Marshall – My aunt Ellen told me about this book after her book club enjoyed their discussion of it and I’m so grateful because I needed a FIVE STAR read! In this story we flash between three timelines and narrators. In 2017 Angela finds a letter about an adoption and is determined to reunite the birth mother and her child. In the 1960’s we meet very young women, including Evelyn, who are forced to wait out their pregancy in a wayward home for “fallen” girls, then forced to give their baby up for adoption. In the 1970’s and 1980’s we meet the heroes of the Jane network, a secret group of women determined to help other women get safe abortions, despite the laws being against them in Canada. This was based on real facts from Canada and America’s history, and even more horrifying given where we are in America today, in 2024. This was a beautiful, bittersweet book that made me laugh, cry, and want to rally in the streets!
• Erasure by Percival Everett – My work friend gave me this book, after she saw the adaptation of it and loved it. This is a satire in which a Black author who writes highly elevated literary fiction decided to write a joke of a book using slang and a pseudonym. The book ends up becoming so popular the author has to decide whether to admit he is the author or remain in hiding, while also dealing with significant family situations in his personal life. This gives the reader pause on the publishing industry, the book award process, how authors of different identities are treated, and how books can help or hurt prejudices and biases. This was a beautifully-crated novel.
• Madwoman by Chelsea Bieker – I can never go wrong with a thriller from Book of the Month club. This story, which jumps from present day Portland to past Hawaii, follows Clove in her present day with a loving husband and beautiful children, and through her traumatic, abusive childhood. As we get to know Clove, we meet a new friend, Jane, and see Clove unravelling from her own secrets. The lies build, the tension mounts, and the twists are surprising!
• Vegas Concierge: Sex Trafficking, Hip Hop and Corruption in America by Brian Joseph – One of my closest friends is a psychologist in Las Vegas. For years she worked to support underage girls who were leaving prositution. Through her work, I learned a lot about sex trafficking. Her husband, Don, was a Vice cop in Vegas who worked to help the same girls, around the same time, though they weren’t married at the time. Don worked with an investigative jouranlist to tell the story of just one of the horrifying pimps who was trafficking young women all over the country, along with one of the victims/ survivors, Angela. The author invested many years getting to know Don and Angela’s stories, along with pimp culture, Las Vegas police, and more. This is an important topic that needs a lot more light shone on it to help educate more people, in the hopes of stopping these horrific crimes.
• The Speed of Light by Elissa Grossell Dickey – I don’t know where I heard of this book, which is sad because I want to thank whoever recommended it! I loved this touching story, told using one of my favorite styles: two different timelines. In one timeline we are getting to know Simone as she gets to know her new diagnosis of MS while also starting a new relationship with the amazing Connor. In another timeline, we are with Simone during an active shooter situation at her place of work, which is a university. Despite all of the heaviness of a chronic illness and a possible shooting, this book is full of hope, love, family and friendship during good times and bad. I’ve already marked the author’s second book as “want to read” for my future self!
• The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Caused an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt [audiobook] – Multiple people told me this was a good book from their parent perspective. Despite not having kids of my own, I wanted to read this as an educator responsible for the devices we put in students’ hands. I’m so glad I read this, and so horrified by the decline of children mental health statistics since 2010 and the rise of social media. I learned so much from all of the international research shared, and I was reminded of the value of taking social media breaks for myself as well. The entire chapter dedicated the mental anguish and body shaming that young girls go through because of social media was heartbreaking. The chapter about boys and the gateway from video games into porn was tough to read, yet none of this is surprising. What was sad was the fact that we have added more controls than ever on the lives of children when they go outside of the homes (rarely are kids allowed to be alone, unsupervised, in the era of helicopter parenting) and yet we have given them personal devices where they can access the Internet, with virtual no controls or guardrails. The book walks parents through more appripriate ages to begin to give kids independence and later years when devices can be introduced with parameters. He also recommends no phones at schools ever, all day, and more unstructured recess time during the day. There is a lot to unpack in this book and it would make a great book club read for parent or educator groups.
• The Boyfriend by Freida McFadden – I love the Book of the Month thriller choices every single time! This is the second Fredia McFadden book I’ve read and I love her books too! In this one we meet Sydney, who keeps going on bad dates through the NYC dating app, while her friends find love all around her. In another timeline, we meet Tom and his high school sweetheart Daisy, where a lot of local girls have gone missing. As we learn more about Tom and Daisy there are lots of twists and turns. This story was propulsive and had me suspecting everyone and guessing wrong up until the last twist!
• I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid – When Meredith described this book on the Currently Reading podcast, she said as little as possible and recommended that we jump right into reading it without learning any more. All I knew when I read this book was that a man and his girlfriend were going on a road trip and that this was considered a psychological horry story. Man. This was a short, wild ride! I read it in one day and really wanted to talk to someone when I finished it. WOW.
• A Safe House, Stone Barrington #61 by Stuart Woods – I’m nearing the end of the books Woods wrote before he died. I love the characters of Stone and Dino, and even Lance from the CIA. What annoys me is the way he writes women – they are always helpless, stupid, and in need of Stone to rescue them. In this one, the woman stepped up by the end and did better than most!
• 1,000 Words: A Writer’s Guide to Staying Creative, Focused, and Productive All Year Round by Jami Attenberg – This is a collection of essays put together as inspiration for a 1,000 words a day writing challenge. The primary author, Jami, asked her writer friends to write inspirational letters she could send to the people participating in the challenge throughout a summer. I enjoyed the individual essays/letters and the advice.
• House Lessons: Renovating a Life by Erica Bauermeister [audiobook] – I love everything that this author writers, whether fiction or nonfiction! I found a free copy of this audiobook through Audible and enjoyed listening to the story of buying, cleaning out, and renovating a beautiful old house in Port Townsend, WA. This book was a love letter to the Pacific North West and to architecture and renovation, as well as to family. The author shared glimpses into her family, the time it took to clean out a horded house and renovate it, the time away from it before they finally moved into the house to live there, and her work as a writer as well. This solidified that I never want to be responsible for a renovation, but I admire those who do!
• The Writing Revolution 2.0: A Guide to Advancing Thinking Through Writing in All Subjects and Grades by Judith C. Hochman and Natalie Wexler – I was happy to read this book while looking for professional resources related to the teaching of writing. I am still thinking about Natalie Wexler’s book The Knowledge Gap and the podcast that followed. Her work helped reframe the foundational skills work we are doing in my district, and still has me thinking about content area instruction. I appreciated all of the relevant and useable resources and tips shared in this book, starting from the sentence level. While I love writing and enjoyed teaching writing, I know many students and adults who struggle with it, and many more who need help forming better written passages. I think these tips, coupled with learning to read like a writer, can help anyone learn to write well.

Favorite Books

Fiction: Looking for Jane, The Speed of Light

Nonfiction: Vegas Concierge: Sex Trafficking, Hip Hop and Corruption in America and The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Caused an Epidemic of Mental Illness

There are a number of reasons this is one of my shortest lists of books read in a single month (and yet’s still a fair number of books!). One reason is that 11/22/63 is close to 1,000 pages and that took up quite a lot of reading time! Another reason is that life got in the way this month, and reading has been challenging. However, I still had three 5 star reads this month! This month I read:

• A Year in the Woods: Twelve Small Journeys into Nature by Torbjorn Ekelund, translated by Becky L. Crook – I picked this up randomly while in a local indie bookstore last month because the nature called to me. While I have never been camping, I love spending time in nature, and on my last two vacations far from cities, I have LOVED seeing millions of stars in the clear sky at night. In the Galapagos Islands I was able to see constellations from both the northern and southern hemispheres at once and the Milky Way Galaxy! In this memoir, Torbjorn decides to spend one day and night each month out in the forest alone. He has fond memories of forest and fishing time from his childhood, and has decided to pause the daily grind each month for this exploration. He doesn’t do anything dramatic. He hikes and campus out, has a meal or two and reads. He fishes during the summer months. Mostly he notices how the same areas can change so significantly from month to month and across seasons. It’s a quiet, peaceful look at slowing down and noticing what’s around us.
• 11/22/63 by Stephen King – I read this book when it came out in 2011 and LOVED it! I was excited to reread it with our Secret Stuff Book Club for Stephen King Summer because I only remembered the big idea, no details. This is a time travel book where a man from 2011 travels back in time to stop the JFK assassination, fighting against the past that doesn’t want to be changed. I love the extended time spent in the late 50’s and early 60’s, and the deliberate differences King points out between the past and the present. EVERYONE smoked back then! This book is truly one of best books I’ve read because of the time descriptions, the historical connections, the people and the every day struggles, and the what if’s about time travel and changing the past. I loved it just as much the second time through! [1,000 pages]
• Real Americans by Rachel Khong – I chose this from Book of the Month earlier this year because I had heard good things about it. This is a family drama that spans multiple generations, flashing backward and forward in the story. We meet Lily when she falls in love with Matthew. Lily is Chinese American and Matthew is a rich, white man with generational wealth behind his last name. Over time, we meet their parents and their child, through multiple narrators. This was a deep dive into their family, the choices each generation made, and the feelings that came with each consequence of those choices. I enjoyed the saga, despite the general sad tones. It was beautifully told.
• The Guncle Abroad by Steven Rowley – I read and loved the first in this series, falling in love with GUP (Gay Uncle Patrick) and his niblings (niece and nephew) as they grieved the death of their friend/mother. In this book we fast forward 5 years and find Maisie and Grant’s father, Patrick’s brother, ready to remarry. The kids are still missing their mom and are not prepared for life to move on like this. Patrick and the kids travel Europe together leading up to the fancy Italian wedding, as he teaches them life and love lessons. This was cheesier than the first, but a quick, fun read.
• Arise: The Art of Transformational Coaching by Elena Aguilar – I have long admired Elena Aguilar. I pre-ordered this book because I have loved all of her other books and reread them and refer to them frequently. She is my coaching idol! This was an interesting book because she explains early on that this was meant to be a revised edition of The Art of Coaching, her very first book. But she has learned so much about coaching, equity, emotions, and more, which led to such a rich, deep exploration into her brain and the ways she thinks about coaching. While there was a lot of repetition from her other books, she added in detailed coaching conversations, captured through transcrips of her real work, which gave credence to the examples she shares. I admire the way she is able to separate herself from the issues that arise (pun intended) while coaching, the ways she is able to coach emotions, pedagogy, beliefs, and ways of being, and so much more. I appreciate that she is a perpetual student, of adult learning and coaching and life, and she is an inspiring coach and leader. I loved living in her world as I read this tome. [544 pages!]
• The God of the Woods by Liz Moore – I heard about this book months ago, ordered it for a Book of the Month choice because of the recommendations, and then saw it all over Instagram this summer! Sometimes when that happens, the book doesn’t live up to the hype. In this case, I enjoyed the book as much as I hoped! The story takes place as a summer camp in New York, in the 60’s and 70’s, surrounded by beautiful nature and displicable rich people. When Barbara goes missing, it brings up the hard memories of 14 years prior, when her young brother also went missing. The entire town is taken over by the searching, while their rich parents hide in alcohol and shady lawyers. Most of the characters were unlikeable, yet I wanted to know what happened. I enjoyed the storytelling so much!

Favorite Books

Fiction: 11/22/63 & The God of the Woods

Nonfiction: Arise: The Art of Transformational Coachin