Reflections on Leadership and Learning

July was a great reading month for me. Summer reading just feels different, whether you are reading at home, by a lake, a pool, or the ocean, or in an airport (all of which I did this month!). This month I read:

• Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson – I LOVED this beautiful book! This is story about family, traditions, culture, secrets, and so much more. Benny and Byron are estranged siblings who are forced back together upon their mother’s death. Little do they know what their mother has left for them to discover, together, about her past and their family’s history. This story takes us from a Caribbean island to the UK and then to the US, following friendships and love stories and family, all while Benny and Byron deal with their own internal struggles. This book is a shining example of representation, of culture, of community, and is simply wonderful!
• Saturday Night at the Lakeside Supper Club by J. Ryan Stradal – This is a beautiful story about a family and their supper club, on a lake in Minnesota. As we get to know multiple generations, we flash back and forward to learn about their lives, about the strong woman of each generation, and the choices they each made to find love, be happy, and follow their dreams. The characters were all so interesting, from Mariel, Florence, and Betty, to Floyd, Ned, and their families and competing businesses and more. This felt a little literary, a little historical fiction, a little romance, and a lot of comfort all together.
• Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe – This is a beautiful memoir told in graphic novel style. Maia shares eir deepest secrets from growing up unsure why e never felt like a girl (though assigned female at birth) and yet unclear how to describe it. As Maia grows up, e shares her confusion about gender, sexuality, body parts, and representation. This is a quick read that packs a big punch, especially for any cisgendered person looking to learn more about the life of someone born in a body that isn’t representative of who they are. That, of course, means that this book is being banned in many places right now. I will continue to check out as many LGBTQIA+ books from my public library as possible, to ensure the collection shows activity and support, as well as for my own learning.
  • Perfectly Queer: Facing Big Fears, Living Hard Truths, and Loving Myself Fully Out of the Closet by JillianAbby – I think I found this book by accident while checking out other LGBTQIA+ books from my library. I’m so glad I read it! Jillian begins her memoir talking about her childhood and an interaction she has with another girl that makes her wonder things, but really only because looking back she now knows she is queer. She then takes us through high school, college, her first boyfriend-turned-husband, her seeking of new information and training and experiences, all while fighting to acknowledge the fact that she knows, deep down, she is queer. It’s easier to point to the signs she missed or ignored along the way in this looking back retrospect, but it’s still a journey. This book is a reminder of why representation matters.
  • Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Gamus – This was a GREAT 5 star read for me! I loved the authentic feminist that Elizabeth Zott, the main character, was. From a woman fighting for her own education, to a woman scientist in a field of men, to a woman relegated to the kitchen, Elizabeth refused to do what society wanted of a woman in in the 1960’s. She fought for what she wanted and made no apologies about it. She was a strong protagonist with some great side characters mixed in to antagonize and support her.
  • Spanish Sunrise by Boo Walker – I believe I purchased this e-book as a Kindle sale, solely because I liked that it took place in Spain. Baxter is a widower who is still grieving the loss of his wife while trying to raise his daughter and create a new life for them. He had been a successful musician before his wife’s death, but now he is trying to run a construction business, leaving him little time to care for himself or his daughter. When they get an opportunity to meet lost-lost relatives of their wife/mother, Baxter and Mia travel to Spain and find ways to reconnect, find joy, and love again. This was a sweet, simple story, but Baxter was quite annoying with his non-stop anxious rants and workaholic personality.
  • Drowning by T. J. Newman – Newman’s book Falling was one of my favorites of last year and I couldn’t wait to read this one. I’m happy to report that it was another 5 star read for me and I finished it in one day! Six minutes into a take off, a plane crashes into the ocean. The rest of this book is a thriller as we follow along as the passengers find ways to survive inside and outside of the plane, while people on land try to find ways to rescue the survivors. There are some great character connections from sea to land and great action, but I don’t want to spoil anything. Read this for a fun summer thriller!
  • Foul Play Stone Barrington #59 by Stuart Woods [audiobook] -What I love about the Stone Barrington series is the opulent wealth of Barrington. He gains even more wealth in this book, as he races around the country trying to save a new client’s life. I love reading a Stuart Woods book as a palate cleaner in between deeper books. I’m sad to be near the end of this series. This was the first time I listened to one of his books on audio – the narration was not great, but it was a quick listen!
  • A World of Curiosities Gamache #18 by Louise Penny – I have now read the entire Three Pines series and I am joining the throngs of fans waiting for the next in the series to be published. These characters feel like good friends now. This story was hard to read in many ways, because we went back in time to learn how Gamache and Beauvoir met, how Gamache began his career, and back to a horrifying case. Gamache was so tortued throughout this story, but his family and friends supported him as he chased down the mystery and did what he does best.
  • The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler [audiobook]- I listened to this nonfiction book based on Laura Tremaine’s recommendation. It was interesting, but I probably would have gotten more out of it if I had it in print. The author, a psychotherapist, goes through five types of perfectionists and how each handles day-to-day situations. The overall message was to embrace the positives of being a perfectionist and give yourself grace to gain true power. I appreciated the chapter on self-care and what true rest can do for us, as well as the connections to mental health and wellbeing.
  • Overcoming Dyslexia: The Essential Program for Reading Problems at Any Level by Sally E. Shaywitz, M.D. – I have spent the last 3-4 months slowly going through this extra-large book, recommended to me by my friend whose child was diagnosed with dyslexia. She knows I’ve gone deep into the science of reading and this book was such a deep dive into the specific learning disability of dyslexia, how to spot concerns from Kindergarten age, and what to do to avoid a large reading gap for children. After reading this, I was better able to see some speech patterns in my nephew, such as trouble getting the right word out when telling a story, that are linked to his dyslexia. This is a powerful book for any parent of a child with dyslexia. There are sections that are very relevant for educators who want to learn much more than we are taught in any program.
  • A Lesson in Vengeance by Victoria Lee – I read this because it was a pick for aClub, which I have decided is too young for me and I have no plans to return to as this was way too teen angsty for me. Felicity is a trouble teen who returns to her private boarding school after the death of her best friend and secret girlfriend the year before. We learn the story of that death through Felicity’s retelling, which changes frequently. As Felicity settles into school, she is befriended by Ellis, a teen author who is new to school and desperate to study murders for her next novel. They form an odd friendship that tests the boundaries of witchcraft and danger, with a few surprises along the way.
  • Bitterroot Lake by Alicia Beckman – I bought this book when I was on vacation in Montana. I went into an indie bookstore in Bozeman and purposefully chose a book by an author from Montana that took place there, to experience the locale. This was a well written mystery that took place in a fictional area near Whitefish, which I visited and loved. Sarah’s husband just died and she returns to her hometown for some rest, but instead finds herself in the middle of a mystery 25 years in the making. As Sarah and her college friends reunite, they all have secrets and problems and need to come together to figure out what is happening in their small town. This was a fun read!
  • Bad Mormon by Heather Gay [audiobook] – As a regular fan of The Real Housewives franchise, I often enjoy listening to the their books on audio. I had high hopes for Heather’s book, as she is so fun on Salt Lake City and the show began after she divorced her husband and left the Mormon church. This memoir takes us back to her childhood, her religious upbringing and the expectation that little girls grow up to be wives and mothers. Heather alternates between wanting that future and pushing against that future for herself. I found this to be more serious than I expected with less Housewives and funny content than I wanted.
  • Imagine If… Creating a Future For us All by Sir Ken Robinson and Kate Robinson – This short book was planned by father and daughter and finished by Kate alone after the passing of her father, Sir Ken Robinson. Thanks to AG for loaning me her copy so I could read it! This book prompts us to imagine a world that includes repairs the earth humans have damaged while creating learning opportunities that are learner-centered. The messages in this book align with so much of the learner profile work we have been doing as a system. We want our schools to be welcoming for all, where everyone feels a sense of belonging, and where passions fuel learning. We also want to continue our work in environmental sustainability in order to support our planet. This is a quick read that can provide a bump of hope and inspiration for educators as we prepare for a new school year.

Favorite book(s) of the month

Fiction:  Black Cake, Lessons in Chemistry and Drowning were all 5 star reads this month!

Nonfiction: Overcoming Dyslexia: The Essential Program for Reading Problems at Any Level

I never learned how to teach reading. When I went to college, at James Madison University, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. In order to get a teaching credential, you had to have a content major and an education minor. I majored in Spanish (the only subject I didn’t hate in high school!) and Middle Education. I graduated with a credential to teach 4th-8th grade all subjects as well as Spanish K-12. I didn’t feel prepared to teach 8th grade Algebra any more than I felt prepared to teach reading. When I moved to California that didn’t all translate and I ended up teaching middle school.

When I found myself teaching 8th graders who were reading at the 3rd grade level, I didn’t know what to do. At the time, our district was just rolling out a significant professional development plan that included support from consultants who taught us about “Balanced Literacy”. I read books by Fountas and Pinnell and Lucy Calkins. I even went to Calkins’ Teacher’s College Reading and Writing Project. I loved all of the deep professional learning I participated in. My partner teacher and I thrived in a coaching environment surrounded by literacy discussions. My students did make progress, as measured by a variety of assessments we were using at the time, but our school wasn’t closing the gaps fast enough for the number of kids who were struggling.

If you’ve followed anything in the “reading wars” over the last few decades, or the more recent uptick in The Science of Reading discussions, you know that Fountas and Pinnell and Calkins are often used as negative examples. In fact, they are spoken of as if they are villains. There are criticisms of the “research” that their programs are based on, and the huge money-making programs they created. While I loved what I learned back in the day, I have learned so much more now and I see things with fresh eyes.

Ironically, I recently reconnected with one of the best consultants I worked with (literally 20 years ago) when I was a teacher. Dr. Katherine Casey Spengler was a coach and a leader of the work we were doing in balanced literacy two decades ago. However, after her own personal experiences, she dove deep into dyslexia research, getting advanced degrees and certifications in reading that go in a different direction than where we were 20 years ago. After we reconnected, I invited Dr. Spengler to my current district to provide a professional learning day for our principals centered on the current research around “the science of reading”. Dr. Spengler is so knowledgeable and able to break down intense research into meaningful parts for school leaders. We had an incredible day of learning!

I was then able to attend a week long intensive training by IMSE, using the Orton-Gillinham (OG) approach to teaching reading. During this week I truly learned how to teach the foundational skills of reading, or how to help learners break the code. I felt so empowered after this training. I realized how little I knew about teaching reading to young learners or about the rules of English. We are so blessed that we were able to provide this level of training to many of our K-2nd grade teachers as well as our Special Educators, as we now have great momentum moving forward to better address student needs.

At the same time, I have slowly been making my way through a very dense book, Overcoming Dyslexia: The Essential Program for Reading Problems at Any Level by Sally E. Shaywitz, M.D. This book was recommended to me by a friend, whose child was diagnosed with dyslexia after she sought out testing outside of his school. My friend then paid a significant amount of money to enroll her child in a private reading program that uses the OG approaches to help close the gaps and help her child fully break the code.

After all of these experiences I realize how little most teachers know about dyslexia and about teaching the foundational skills of reading systematically and explicitly. The uprise in podcasts related to this topic tells us that parents are seeking more information to help their children and educators are seeking more information to help their students. I hope that our teaching credential programs catch up and work to better prepare future educators. My learning journey continues…

If you are an educator, where are you in your journey regarding the science of reading? What is your school or district doing to screen and progress monitor young students? What curricular resources, assessments and approaches are you using with students?

This post is part of a series called Explorations in Instructional Leadership. I plan to use this series to dive into some of the topics that are rising to the surface in my work, topics that I am researching for future study, and topics that impact student learning and pedagogy.

Introduction to Explorations in Instructional Leadership

The Science of Reading

Scope and Sequence

May was a very busy work month, with some fun travel thrown into the busy mix. I read two books for book clubs, then couldn’t attend one of the meetings and was able to listen to other meeting on Zoom while packing for the travel. This was an odd collection of books for me in one month, but that’s what I love about mood reading – finding the book that suits the mood I’m in! This month I read…

• Tell Me Everything by Minka Kelly [audiobook] – I loved Minka Kelly in the show Friday Night Lights, but I knew nothing about her life until listening to this memoir. She had such a rough childhood, being “parented” by people too young and unable to care for themselves much less a child. She documents many traumatic events with honesty and a child’s perspective, though also recognizing all she realizes now as an adult who had done a lot of therapy and received help and support to process what she went through. She is incredibly self reflective and seems like such an incredibly kind and caring human.
• Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld – I’ve had this author on my radar for awhile, but this is the first book of hers that I have read. I loved this sweet romantic comedy, loosely based in the world of Saturday Night Live, known here as Night Owls, when a comedy writer meets a famous musician when he hosts the show. The first part of the story takesn place in one week of creating Night Owls. What happens after that was a nice surprise for me as a reader.
• I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes [audiobook] – I LOVED this book! A friend recommended it to me and I decided to try it on audio, even though I’ve never had much success with long fiction on audio. This thriller was so fast-paced that it had me hooked and I couldn’t wait to get back in my car to finish listening to it. Throughout the story we are with a CIA agent, learning about his life and career, while he is trying to solve a mystery. We travel across many countries, meet many awful people, and see him involved in wild adventures. I don’t want to give away any specific details, but if you like espionage thrillers, this is a must read!
• Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari – I read this book for a book club and am so glad it was chosen and put on my radar. I think everyone needs to read this, as we are at a cross roads in our modern society. The author outlines all the ways in which our attention span has declined, citing research and evidence throughout his personal stories of trying to quit the Internet and find his flow. Each reason reminds the reader that our attention problem is a systemic issue, not a personal weakness. While we can each make improvements in individual ways, we must also band together and fix some significant problems in our world (social media business models and climate change). I appreciated the research, though it was very light on the details of the research. I found so many links in the final chapters to the work we are doing in education to make schools more learner-centered, where learners’ interests drive learning more than scheduled blocks of content time or bells. I will be thinking about this for awhile, or at least until something distracts me! *** Edited to add this note after my book club met: I just learned that this author is very problematic! He has had plagiarism charges in the past, and his “research” has been accused of misrepresenting sources and false claims. I am rethinking my thoughts on this book!
• In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado – I heard about this book on the Currently Reading podcast sometime in the last year. Then one of my book clubs picked it as the May book, so I was happy to read it. This is a memoir, sad for it’s content and unique for its style. Throughout the book, each chapter is told as it’s on narrative trope, and mostly told in the second person (which gets annoying!). Sadly, what we are reading about is a queer romance during awful by domestic abuse, which is a story often left out of society’s narrative. The gaslighting and the emotional abuse are hard to read about, but powerful in the way Carmen weaves the story of this traumatic relationship across time and space. This was so well-written, beautifully sad and poignantly honest.
• Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner [audiobook] – I have heard so many people rave about this memoir over the last two years, but knowing it was a memoir about the author’s mother dying, I was hesitant to read this. The loss of my mom still hurts my heart and I didn’t think I needed a sad memoir to make me cry more just for “fun” reading. However, after hearing Glennon Doyle interview the author on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, I reconsidered. Michelle’s mother, a Korean woman who married a White American, sounded nothing like my mother, so I thought it was be just a good read for me. This is a beautiful, touching, sad memoir. Michelle’s mother’s battle against cancer did make my cry a lot, for my own personal reasons and just because she writes about it so honestly – cancer sucks! However, Michelle’s love for food, especially homemade Korean food you can buy in H Mart, was a love letter to her mother’s memory and was just beautiful.
• In the Lives of Puppets by T.J. Klune – I have read and loved many of T.J. Klune’s books, for the representation and the beautiful, complex characters he creates. I preordered this in anticipation, however this was my least favorite of all of his books. I think the Fantasy elements (robots taking over the world) were too much for me, and the “love story” was not as fun and touching as in his other books. Having said that, I did love the characters of Nurse Ratched and Rambo, the Roomba vacuum, and their hysterical banter! Victor, the main character and only human in the story, was a loveable character, and I wanted to read a happy ending for him, desptie all of the fantasy shennanigans. After reading the acknowledgements at the end, I’m very curious about the book Klune wanted to write, but that was edited into this based on the feedback he received. Sounds like his first draft was VERY DIFFERENT from this, which intriques me!
• The Romance Recipe by Ruby Barrett – This was a good palette cleanser after some heavy reads – it was a predictable romance, though with two queer characters, one who was coming into her bisexuality later in life. I enjoyed Sophie, the chef, and Amy, the restaurant owner, and their fun personalities. They were well developed characters with hobbies, idiosyncrasies, and big feelings, that were like oil and water and hot and heavy and everything else! The reality show cooking competition added a fun layer of stress and I really like the book!
• The Daddy Diaries: The Year I Grew Up by Andy Cohen [audiobook] – I have enjoyed listening to all of Andy Cohen’s books on audio – he is a funny guy and makes extra jokes for the listener. This book begins when his son is 3 years old and he is awaiting the birth of his daugther via surrogate. Andy documents a year in his life as a single dad of one and then two kids, in NYC, while working so hard (Watch What Happens Live, Real Housewives, Radio Andy, and more!), socializing with his friends and family, getting his Holllywood star, and attempting to date and find love. I love his friendships, and this book was full of him and Anderson Cooper being dads together, his bromance with John Mayer, and his fun with Jimmy Buffett, which was interesting after I just saw Buffett in concert! My only complaint was how negatively Andy talked about his body (so much fat-phobic talk) – it was really bad. Otherwise, I loved his fun musings, how his life calmed down a bit as he got into his dad groove, and the gems he gave us about the housewives.

Favorite book(s) of the month

Fiction: I Am Pilgrim

Nonfiction: Crying in H Mart

I started off April in Maui, visiting family for my spring break. Each night we read books to my 4 year old nephew, so pictured below are just some of children’s books we read! I love a good picture book and I want to give an honorable mention to the Telepathic Traveler: A to Z Guide Across the Globe. Each page is dedicated to both a country and an animal that start with a letter of the alphabet, with an interesting description of both. Thanks to JJ and Rocco for sharing reading time with me!

This month I also read some wonderful books and for the first time in a long time I put a book aside that just wasn’t right for me right now.

• Aurora by David Koepp – I love climate fiction, which I classify as Sci-Fi in my handy spreadsheet tracker. Every time I read a story about the not-to-distant future, after some cataclymic disaster (in this case, all power in the world goes out for a long time!), I am both amazed and horrified by what people do in disasters. The author manages to capture the kindness of sharing food, growing a community garden, and a neighborhood watch for safety, while also capturing what fear and greed can drive people to do. I enjoyed some of the characters and I enjoyed hating other characters in this fast-moving story!
• Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake – This queer romance is by an author I discovered and loved for a YA book last year (Ivy Aberdeen…). Delilah Green is a queer artist who reluctantly returns to her hometown for her stepsister’s wedding. Delilah doesn’t have happy memories of her childhood with her stepsister and stepmother, nor of the town that never seemed to accept her. As she gets deeper into the two weeks of wedding drama, she learns about herself, her past, and her family, while stumbling into romance and love! This was a sweet story!
• Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman – My cousin (hi JJ!) loaned me this book because she thought I would enjoy it; her brother also liked and so I was able to speak to two cousins about this book over the month! Klosterman writes a collection of essays about random pop culture items, such as Saved by the Bell, Billy Joel, and reality TV. I loved some of the essays, as they made me feel nostagic. The book was published in 2004 so a lot of the content was outdated, but still funny with his sacastic takes on everything. There were a few essays (Celtivs vs Lakers) that I didn’t care about at all. Overall, I enjoyed his writing style, and have heard it’s fun to read some of his other work.
• Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman – I love a good thriller to read on a beach vacation and this fit the bill! Erin and Mark are planning their wedding and then enjoying their extravagant honeymoon, trying to avoid the financial stress they will face when they return to reality. Then they find something in the water while scuba diving and everything changes. The rest of the story is a fast-paced race to the end, where I was doubtful of all characters, unsure who and what to believe, and not sure where it would end (despite the beginning of the book strating with a significant detail from the end!). Fun read!
• Trust Exercises by Susan Choi – I have no idea why I owned this e-book, but I’ve had it for awhile and finally decided to read it. Part way through the very angsty, teen-drama filled first part, I almost quit it! Then I read a review on Goodreads that said there was a big twist, so I kept reading. The twist was a second narrator coming in to narrator the second half, showing us that both narrators were unreliable. Both sections were filled with stories of high school problems faced by a group of kids in an elusive performing arts school. There was a lot of sex, drugs, and theatre, but not a lot of plot. I didn’t like the characters, which made this hard to get through. The styel of the book attempted to cross genres, but it wasn’t enough to get me to enjoy this read.
• The Family Game by Catherine Steadman – This is a fast-paced thriller about an unlikeable wealthy family with secrets to hide. I just read a book by Steadman earlier this month without realizing that this book had been on my radar (and my library hold) for a while! I loved getting to know the Holbeck family through the eyes of Harriet, who is engaged to marry the eldest son. As Harriet is trying to figure out who to trust, she is also keeping her own secret. The “family games” throughout the book are weird and horrifying, leading up to the ultimate game at the end. This was fast and fun and a real page-turner!
• All the Devils are Here by Louise Penny (Gamache #16) – This was the first in the Gamache series to take place in Paris, and it was such a fun switch from the usual settings. Reading this made me want to visit Paris again! I love Armand Gamache and love that #16 focused so much on his family – his wife, both of his children and their spouses and their growing families, as well as his godfather. We were given a very different look into Armand’s life as he was thrown into a very personal mystery in a special place.
• Refugee by Alan Gratz [audiobook] – I LOVED this book! What a beautiful, bittersweet, incredible story about three reguees at three different moments in history. Throughout the book we follow Josef as he and his Jewish family escape Nazi Germany on board a boat bound for Cuba, Isabel, as she and her family escape Cuba on their way to Miama and freedom from Castro, and Mahmoud, as he and his family escape bombs in their home in Syria, through many countries on their way to Germany and freedom. Each of their stories, in different time periods, is perilous and unique, and then the ending just made me sob like a baby! I’ve heard from two teachers in our district who have read this with upper grade students and I can only imagine the discussions that followed.
• Learner-Centered Leadership: A Blueprint for Transformational Change in Learning Communities: The author, Devin, became the superintendent in Vista right after I left the district. I wish I had stayed to work with him through the transformation he describes in this book! Vista needed significant transformation, as most of our systems do, to go from a teacher-centered to a learner-centered system. My current district is now working with Devin’s company, Learner-Centered Collaborative, to help facilitate the creation of a new vision, mission, values, and learner outcomes for us, which is so exciting! I appreciate how he outlines the entire process in this book, including examples from the Vista story, some written by other leaders in the system from their perspective. Devin is honest about his own mistakes as well as when they went too fast and when they got it right. This is a great read for any educator ready to prepare our current learners for an unknown future.
• All That is Mine I Carry with Me by Williams Landay – I loved Defending Jacob by this author, so I was excited to read another mystery by him that involved some courtroom drama. Turns out, the courtroom was a very small part of the larger story of a mother gone missing. In each of the four parts a different family member or friend narrates the story, so we are given different perspectives of this family with mom, after mom disappears, and in the many decades afterwards. With each new narrator we get more information, but are also a little more confused or unsure – did he do it or not?! I enjoyed the entire story right upt to the very end!

Favorite book(s) of the month

Fiction: Aurora by David Koepp

Nonfiction:Learner-Centered Leadership: A Blueprint for Transformational Change in Learning Communities

The last time I took a purposeful social media vacation was during a four-day vacation in 2019. It was just a quick break and what I needed as a reminder to focus on in-person connections and nature. Last week I was on vacation in Maui, visiting family during my spring break (Hi JJ!). On the flight over, I decided that I was going to detox from social media for the entire vacation. Before spring break started, I had found myself “doom scrolling” through endless Instagram stories and reels, past the posts of people I know, past the celebrities I like, and well into the rabbit hole of random content, by total strangers, about something and nothing and who knows what.

Once I hugged my family and got my toes into the white sandy beaches of Kihei, I was in my happy place. At first, I had no problem putting my phone aside to soak in the moments. However, my vacation was 8 days long, and I had plenty of downtime in between family fun and book reading. I soon found that the minute my time was unscheduled, my hands automatically wanted to open up Instagram, Facebook or even Twitter to begin scrolling. When I was waiting to check in for my flight and for my luggage to arrive at the airport, I watched how many people were on their phones around me. I saw families standing together, yet millions of cyber miles apart on different devices. I felt the pull to open up my apps, but I resisted. In fact, I am happy to report that I didn’t cave in to the temptation, but it was noticeable. So much so that when I returned from my vacation, I decided to keep going for a few extra days.

I waited 10 full days before I opened up my social media apps. On the first day, I decided to only get on Instagram, and I consciously looked at the clock before I started. I told myself to set a timer for 10 minutes, but then I just jumped in and began scrolling. Twenty minutes later I caught myself and logged off. That’s when it really hit me how easy it is to get sucked in and loose all sense of time. And even in those twenty minutes I found myself viewing mindless content that had no purpose or meaning to me. That realization made me consider how I want to use social media differently moving forward. The next time I went into Instagram, I unfollowed a LOT of accounts. I love Instagram for the pretty pictures (to see and share) and witty captions. But I whittled down my follow list to the people I know and love in real life, and the creators who post content that is positive and meaningful to me, and the content that uplifts me. I don’t want to be dragged into negativity, internet trends, or mindless ranting by strangers. I’ve also vowed not to just go to the search field or the suggestions for me, because I don’t want the algorithm controlling what I view.

Since then, I have gotten back on Facebook and Twitter a few times, for very limited amounts of time. Before I open one of these apps, I’m asking myself what my purpose is. If I’m bored, I stop and choose a different activity. As always, this is where I reflect on what I’m learning and trying. We will see how this goes.

I love it when my word of the year (gentle) aligns with something I am reading (The Art of Coaching). As I was rereading Chapter 12 of Elena Aguilar’s book, which I have read no less than 5 times over the last decade, this quote jumped out at me:

“When I knock on a client’s classroom or office, I know that a large part of what will make the meeting successful is my disposition: If I’m confident, compassionate, grounded, and present, I know I can create a learning space for someone to explore his beliefs, behavior, and being.” ~ Elena Aguilar, The Art of Coaching, p. 237

To me, this is a reminder of how powerful my attitude and beliefs are in any meeting, whether I mean for them to be or not. As someone who is working hard to be more gentle, to slow down, to not react with no first, this is a critical message to keep in mind. I know that if I’m in a bad mood because I had a bad night’s sleep, I will seem more cranky in a meeting. I also know that when I have back-to-back meetings all day, I am less confident, compassionate, grounded and present as the day goes on. It’s natural that after a meeting I often have follow up work, or items on my mind. However, if there is no break between meetings, my brain and my body are holding onto all of that work and I have a harder time concentrating on being present.

Aguilar shares that she builds into her calendar five minutes of breathing in her car before walking into a school site for a coaching session. She also recommends 5 minutes of journaling just to brain dump what is on your mind before entering a new space. I love these suggestions so much, but I realize that I need to work to put it into practice. Some days I feel like my calendar runs me and other days I feel like I have control of my calendar. I want to work to ensure that after a meeting I have a moment (5 minutes isn’t much in the big picture!) to reflect and prepare for the next event.

There are times when I feel the messages my body is trying to send me: Get up! Take a walk outside! Drink some water! Breathe! Stretch!

However, there are many times when I miss all of those signals and it’s not until I find myself at the end of a long day with hunched up shoulders, tight jaw muscles, and pent up energy that I realized I haven’t stood up in hours, or I haven’t had 2 minutes along all day.

I just made a conscious effort to go into my calendar for the next two weeks to add “5 minute grounding break” in between meetings. In addition, I was sold on an Instagram ad for Calm Strips, one of which you can see on the bottom right of my laptop shown below. These strips have a little texture, so as you trace the design, you are reminded to slow down and breathe. On the left side of my laptop I have a note that says gentle, as another reminder.

I’m not sure how this will go, but I am sure I will report back here, since this is my year of gentle!

After 3 long years, COVID finally got me this month. Despite by vaccines and boosters, it hit me hard and reading was not possible for many days of sickness, which was so sad for me. However, I was able to catch up to my normal speed by the end of the month! This month I read I range of books, many that have been on my TBR pile for a while. After adding Germany to my nation of origin lists I wanted to share my January-March chart, demonstrating how I am reaching my goal to read more books from a wider range of countries.

• The Writing Retreat by Juila Bartz – While most of the characters annoyed me throughout the story, I enjoyed the book overall. Alex is chosen to join an elite group at a private writer’s retreat in the home of her favorite author. The retreat includes her ex best friend, which creates some drama that felt like YA even though the characters are in their 20’s and 30’s. The famed author creates some harsh expectations and the retreat goes from fun to weird to creepy to horrifying!
• The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai – This book has some similarities to The Heart’s Invisible Furies. This was a saga that spanned multiple decades, and covered the AIDS crisis of the 80’s in Chicago and the art world in Paris during WWI. We get to know Yale, working in the art world in Chicago as his friends are slowly dying from AIDS, and Fiona, the sister of Yale’s good friend, who ends up as the caretaker to an entire group of friends. We also follow Fiona’s travels in Paris in 2015 as she searches for her daughter. As the story flashes back and forth, we learn more about found family, friendship, health care, and grief through their eyes. It’s a beautifully bittersweet story about an awful time in our not too distant past.
• The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine – This book publishes on April 4. I preordered this book because I love Laura, but because I’m a member of her Secret Stuff patreon group, I got access to a digital ARC and read it in 2 days. What a joyous read! I just finished and I have happy tears in my eyes! I love everything that Laura Tremaine creates, from her witty Instagram captions to her SM challenges to her podcasts and books! Laura’s outline of the 10 friends every woman needs is great advice for women of all ages. Her personal friendship stories along the way make each Life Council seat real and relevant and filled with love and laughter. I think every woman needs this book and the reflection of who fills the seats in our own Life Councils. I’ve decided a need more Yes Friends in my life so let me know if that is you!
• I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson – I have no idea why I purchsed this e-book (probably an Amazon sale), but it was the exact YA book I needed this weekend! I love a book with two narrators and two timelines! We are following twins Jude and Noah, as Noah gives us the backstory from two years ago and Jude updates us from the present. As we learn more about their family and their passions (art and surfing and nature), we see the web of lies they are each caught up on in and wait to see them untangle themselves. This was a sweet story with some trauma, some LGBTQ support, and lots of love.
• Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don’t Want to Forget to Remember by Lauren Graham [audiobook]- I love Lauren Graham as an actress and I like her as an author. I enjoy listening to her books on audio, because she is a good narrator and I’m used to fast talking from watching Gilmore Girls (and listening to myself!). This essay collection was not as good as some of her others. I think she had fewer stories to tell, so these were peppered with a lot of silly language plays-on-words, jokes, and some were very short. Some, however, were poignant and some were very funny, and overall this was a quick fun audiobook!
• The Lost Man by Jane Harper – This was a mystery, which I love, but so unlike anything I’ve read in a long time. This story takes place in the Outback of Australia, where people live very remote and often lonely lives in very dangerous terrains. When brothers Nathan and Bub meet up over their other brother’s dead body, we follow them on the journey to figure out what happened. We learn about a family full of love and abuse, travels and farmers, and everything in between. I loved each of the flawed characters and I loved the ending! I’ve read one another Jane Harper book and this was my favorite of hers so far!
• Dear Child by Romy Hausmann – I loved this book, translated from German! It’s a propulsive thriller that has multiple narrators (not all reliable!), telling us the story flasshing back and forward in time. The story starts when a college girl, Lena, goes missing. Years later we meet a woman in the hospital after a car accident and it’s possible this is the missing Lena. However, figuring out who the woman is, where she has been, and what has happened, is a serious mytery that takes time and other people to unravel. Lots of trigger warnings for tough stuff in this book, but a great read!
• Wishtree by Katherine Applegate [audiobook]- This is a cute middle grades story narrated by a tree. Red is a 200 year old tree who has seen a lot in the neighborhood over the years. Red became the local wishing tree, where everyone comes on May 1 to add something to her limbs to represent their wishes. Red speaks to all of the local animals who live in and near her. She sees the good, the sad, and the ugly, especially when something mean is carved into her bark. We meet the people around the neighborhood as seen through Red’s eye. Red and Bongo, a corvid, partner up to help a new girl whose wish is for a friend, in this sweet story. I loved these characters almost as much as those in The One and Only Ivan, also by this author.
• The Attic Child by Lola Jaye – This was a beautiful, bittersweet story of two different people living 90 years apart and experiencing similar trauma, and their lives before and after said trauma. In one timeline we meet Dikembe who lives in the Congo with his family, until a British explorer takes him back to live in English as a posh school boy until things go from bizarre to bad. In the more current timeline, we meet Lowra who is a young adult trying to create a life for herself after surviving her own childhood trauma, in the same house were Dikembe, renamed Celestine, was brought decades before. As Lowra digs into the past she learns about Dikembe/ Celestine, she learns about herself as well. This story had me enthralled, sickened, crying tears of sadness and joy, and hopeful! It’s another reminder of the atrocities that Europe committed on the people of African nations, with little to none of the stories people told from multiple perspectives.
• A Better Man (Armand Gamache #15) by Louise Penny – I can’t believe that I have almost caught up to the current publication in this series. After 15 books, I love Three Pines so much! The place, the people, the friendships, the sarcasm, and whole world created by Louise Penny. This book was bittersweet because it was the last case Jean Guy will work as a police man. I loved seeing him, Armand, and Isabelle all back together again, solving the mystery and trying to save the world.

Favorite book(s) of the month

Fiction: The Attic Child by Lola Jaye

Nonfiction: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine

February was a busy month, with travel for work and for fun, which meant good plane reading, but no weekend reading for quite a while. This month felt a little random, but I enjoyed my reading. This month I read…

• The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama [audiobook]- Michelle Obama’s first book, Becoming, was so incredible and a deep and meaningful read! This one didn’t hit me in the same way, but I enjoyed it. This was a short, sweet memoir with some personal stories mixed into a few big life lessons. In this book, Michelle shares her thoughts on the importance of friendship and the challenges she has faced as a woman and a Black woman in professional spaces. We get a glimpse into her relationship with Barack in the chapter about partnerships. We hear more about how devastated she was by the election of 2016, and the fear and joy she felt during the inauguration of 2020. Hearing how she experienced Amanda Gorman’s poem/performance live was amazing! Michelle also has a chapter on fear and how she has overcome it throughout her life. OVerall, it was so postive, including details on how “We go high” has become something she is known for.
• Violeta by Isabel Allende – This book is the life story of Violeta, from 1920-2020. Violeta was born in Chile during the flu pandemic and the book ends in the corona virus pandemic. In between we follow the stories of her family, from riches to rags, the friends who help them along the way, the people who are not helpful, the friends who become family, and the next generations. This is a beautifully written story, steeped in a lot of history about a century in Chile, with governmental coups and protests and fights for the rights of all. Violeta was a flawed and wonderful character, well ahead of her time in many ways! [Side note, I haven’t read an Allende book in decades, but I read The House of the Spirits by her in Spanish in college!]
• A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo – This was a cute YA story about complex topics such as relationships, aging, death, artistic freedom, and a “coming of age queer story”, according to the book cover description. Aria is forced to live with her grandmother in the Bay Area for the summer, just as the Supreme Court has legalized gay marriage. Aria befriends a group of young women who happen to all be lesbians as she gets settled into her summer life. We follow her adventures and self discoveries along the way. Despite the teen drama of a YA story, I enjoyed the characters and the representation in this book.
• Girl, Forgotten by Karin Slaughter – I picked this as a Book of the Month choice months ago because I always like their thrillers. While, I liked it, there were some very hard parts that made me dislike the mysogony and horrible treatment of women throughout the entire book. The story flashes back to the 80’s, where we follow Emily a teenager who finds herself pregnant with no memory of what happened, to present day when Andrea, a new US Marshall, is on a security case but really looking into Emily’s murder. We slowly learn more about each woman as we move through their timeline, with everyone they interact with being more despicable than the last. I hated almost all of the men in this book, except for Andrea’s new partner Bible. Andrea being a strong, fierce, independent woman was the saving grace!
• Breathe and Count Back from Ten by Natalia Slyvester [audiobook] – I enjoyed listening to this YA on audio. Veronica is a teenager from Peru who is trying to figure herself out, as she seeks more independence from her controlling parents, struggles to make peace with her hip dysplasia, and dreams of working as a mermaid at a local waterpark. While the teen drama was a little angsty, I appreciated all of the representation in this book and the messages that all people can be whatever they want to be!
• In Cold Blood by Truman Capote – This true crime story was picked as my book club selection this month. However, as I got to know the players, I enjoyed the story. We meet the Clutters, a hard- working farming family in Kansas, beloved by all who know them. We also meet Dick and Perry, the two criminals who morder the family. Along the way, we learn a lot about everyone, and about the crime.

Favorite book(s) of the month

Fiction: Violeta by Isabel Allende

Nonfiction: The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama

Last year I learned of the Countdowns app and it has quickly become one of my favorite things! In this app you can add events that are coming up in the future by naming them, picking a quick image to represent the event, and typing in the date. The app then keeps a running list of all of your countdowns, as you can see in my list below.

It has been so much fun to not only have fun things to look forward to, but to be able to see at a glance how many days away each event is. Before I traveled to Namibia last year, my travel friend and I would text each other the numbers of days we had left before our trip every few weeks. If I got a text from her that just said, “57!!!!!” I knew exactly what it meant. And now I know I will be traveling with her again in 158 more days!

This year is shaping up to be full of concerts and travel adventures all over America, with different friends and family members. I think the Countdown app has made me not only excited about my trips, but it has motivated me to keep planning the next adventure. In fact, I had a unique experience with a friend just last week, that was two months in the making, and I regret that I never even added it to my Countdowns. Darn!

What are you looking forward to this year?